I woke up this morning to the sound of singing. One of which was Matt Corby, one of my favorite artists, “Happy Birthday” by a girl’s team, and all of the animals that congregate outside our window. The wall of our room is flush against all the sounds and games and yells that come out of the common room. So, I sometimes use ear plugs when I really want to get some sleep. But as this journey comes to a slow stop, I am doing my best to hold onto those small moments of living. I don’t know when I’ll be surrounded by a group of 40 people chasing Jesus in the African bush again, but I’m not taking any chances.
I think if anything, those will be the things I remember on the race. The time my teammate Joe and I went cliff jumping in Guatemala or a lightning storm we watched as a Squad here in Africa. Long walks on the streets of Burma and on the sands of Guatemala. Experiences that are in my mind for the sake of the moment and the people, nothing else. Those I am beginning to realize are my favorite and make to be the most memorable. Living doesn’t require anything more than attention to the moment it has for you. God, in His gracious love, gives us the pleasure to enjoy these. He is attuned to our likes and dislikes, our wants and needs, and to those who love Him, He works in all things for good.
A pastor I listen to from time to time is Matt Chandler. A podcast I have continued to go back to is one on Romans 11:33 “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgements and how inscrutable his ways!”
During the message, he references his struggle with cancer. As he talks about the difficulty of walking through it and the thoughts that crossed his mind of “Why me,” it was the cross of Jesus that “wooed him out of depression.” The knowledge that God allows all things through his hands can bring questions of why, but the greatest answer we will ever get is Jesus Christ. It is His life. While this can seem like a basic truth, it is one I am discovering over and over again. Slowly in my walk with God, I am seeing the love and grace He has for me through Jesus.
Jesus is changing my life and He will for the rest of the time I am alive. The verse I have been turning to in the last part of the race has been Romans 5:2
“Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”
Unmerited favor. There is nothing I cling to more than the grace over my life through Jesus Christ. I know the pride, selfishness, greed, comparison, sloth, envy, lust, and other sins I still fight against so presently. But the Holy Spirit ministers to me, Jesus has renewed me despite my flesh. Unmerited favor. What I see differently in this passage, compared to month one me, is that grace allows me to stand. In verse one, Jesus has not only brought peace into my relationship with God, Hallelujah, but He has given me an opportunity to see the glory of God. It was “His truth” they exchanged in ch. 1, v. 25 of Romans. In ch. 4, v. 20 of Romans, Abraham… “grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God.” I don’t think you can give glory to something if you have not yet tasted it.
Like Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, and the conviction of things not seen.”
This week I tasted a true honeycomb for the first time. One of the missionary families here harvest honey and shared some with us. As I began to chew, the honey seeped out of the comb and the sweetness burst into something I’ve never tasted. It was pure and sweet. When the honey was gone, I was left with a ball of comb that I obviously spit out. The father of the family says during some seasons, you can taste the nectar favoring of the flowers in the honey. I’d like to taste it one day.
I was reminded of Proverbs 16:24 “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”
I think in a similar way, I have begun to make this connection like Solomon. The taste we both know, it not the focus of the proverb. As the words we speak break over conversation, they permeate to the soul and heal the body. As our senses react to sweet honey, our soul reacts to timely words. That is how I see God’s glory in this verse and grace’s ability to unlock rejoicing in hope. Like ch. 8, v. 24 & 25 says in Romans “…For who hopes for what he sees…” Though I cannot see God, and my hope is not put into visible evidence, I similarly cannot see how my words land or “soothe” someone’s soul in conversation. Grace, accessed through assurance and conviction that God says who He is, accesses the ability to ponder, wonder, and praise God’s glory. To, in a sense, see him.
