This Christmas felt much more simple, and for the first time I felt like my heart was in the right place. I celebrated not only the incarnation that happened 2,000 years ago, but the birth of Jesus in my life as well. And looking back on this year, I realized there were many things to celebrate. Yesterday it hit me that my God, MY Jesus, loves me enough to allow a feeling of unsatisfaction every now and then, just enough, to make me want to go dee
per. He doesn’t do it out of arrogance, but rather to get me used to relying on the Spirit within me and nothing else. God is teaching me what his strength being made perfect in weakness feels like. I have messed up a lot this season. Like, a lot. I am unworthy to be going on this trip. But I know God wants to use this mission not only to free captives, but also to combat the darkness in my own life. He has pried my fingers off the plans I had for myself and is showing me that intimacy with him is truly the only thing in this world that completes and satisfies me. There were so many routes I wanted to take in life, mainly in the entertainment industry. But God has rooted me with this: that, “Whether you turn to the left, or to the right, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way. Walk in it.’ ” (Isaiah 30:21) There is only one way to live my life: dependent on Him. He is faithful. I know this because the veil is being lifted in my life, again and again.
