This is a hard place. My days are spent walking the streets of the red light districts with my teammates. I have to be constantly vigilant, ever watching and aware of what’s going on around us in the chaos of this city. By the time we get home at night, I am exhausted. It’s a weary business.
Part of the reason why Cambodia is such a hard place, is due to its history. What do you know about the history of the Kamer people? If your anything like me, not much. That means you probably have no idea that almost 40 years ago, around the time of the Vietnam war, there was a civil war in Cambodia. The group that ended up taking over the government was known at the Khamar Rouge, a communist party that wanted to ‘reset’ the country, back to a self sustaining agrigarian society. They believed that all intelligence was the enemy of this vision, and proceeded to systematically torture and execute every person in the country over the age of 35, and every person of any intelligence; doctors, lawyers, teachers etc. People were taken to various prisons and tortured for information for 2-6 months, then shipped off to places known as Killing Fields, where they were unceremoniously and routinely, executed. If you were executed, your entire family was hunted down and executed as well, in order to prevent any attempts at revenge. The Khamer Rouge ruled like this for almost 4 years, and executed over 2 million of their own 7 million population. This is the history of this country.
Yesterday, we went and visited the largest prison/interrogation facility and killing field in Cambodia. It was tough to see and stand in places where thousands of innocents were tortured and killed, for a twisted, unrealistic vision. Throughout the prison, which is now a memorial museum, we walked the cells, torture chambers and burial areas where so many people, 40 years before, walked before us, terrified and wondering what horror was next and why this was happening to them. Every prisoner that was sent there had their picture taken on their first day, and on many of the walls, these pictures were displayed so visitors could see the faces of all those who lost their lives in this place. As I walked these rooms, and looked into the faces of dead men, I noticed so many different emotions. Some terrified, some angry, many confused, but most just had looks of simple bewilderment and defeat. It is a terrifying thing to look into the eyes of so many people who are no longer walking this earth. What were they thinking when that picture was taken? What atrocities did they have to endure afterwards?
As I looked into the faces of hundreds of dead men, I tried to feel their sorrow, tried to understand why and how this happened, but I could not. I did realize though, that like a petulant child, this month I have been wallowing in my own discomfort of my situation, of the danger that is here. I do not like Cambodia because it is hectic and dangerous and I constantly have to be on my guard, but I realized that the danger I face is nothing compared to what these men and women faced. That my life, as it stands, is so blessed and protected by God, and that’s something that none of the faces on those walls would ever experience or know.
I know I usually leave you guys with and inspiring challenge or testimony, but not this time. Simply remember how blessed we are, and don’t let your current situation defeat you. I now have a better understanding in regards to the hardness of this country. This place is difficult, sometimes it’s downright scary, but maybe now I can feel more compassion for these people. Maybe now I can start to understand them a bit better.
