So. I apologize for not writing for some time now. Though poor, my excuse is that wifi in Swaziland sucks. Yeah. Bad excuse I know. Anyways. Swaziland. What an adventure. It was a rough 3 months. Father really did a work in me, whether I wanted it or not. Month 4 was all squad at El Shaddai, I do believe I explained a bit of it. Month 5 we went to Manzini, one of the bigger cities in Swazi, though still small. Ministry was crazy. Some days were completely filled, others we had maybe one or two hours. Many of us worked in hospitals and a place called the Hope House—a home for the terminally ill. But me and a few of the guys did sports ministry with our host, Xolani(the “x” represents a “click”, the same you’d use to click to a horse, so *click*-olani).
Now, while you are all attempting to pronounce Xolani’s name, I’ll describe to you more of what sports ministry looked like. The heart behind sports ministry in Manzini was to address the issue of fatherlessness. You see, most of the kids we ministered to had very poor examples of what a Father is and is supposed to be. They had fathers that walked out of their lives, whether physically or emotionally, they had father’s who were too present and would physically, verbally, and sexually abuse their children, so what the word “father” conjures up in their mind is nothing good. Because of this, many of these kids have a hard time understanding God as a father. Instead of the loving, very personal God who’s always seeking and pushing us towards our good, they would associate Him as a father who beats them, or who walked out of their life, someone they can’t ever be enough for or someone they are completely too much for. The heart of sports ministry was to address this issue through providing “life coaches” who embody some of our great Father’s key attributes and in an indirect way show the kids what their heavenly Father is actually like. So, we went with Xolani to many of the surrounding communities and just hung out with kids. It didn’t really matter what that looked like. I played a lot of soccer, always something I’m up to, lots of ice-breaker-type games. At the end of our time we’d pair off with each of the kids, find out a bit of who they are, where they’re from, what their home lives are like, etc, and then pray with them. They were fruitful times. It was the beginning of the year and the purpose of what we were doing was to basically advertise sports ministry to these kids, invite them to the programs, etc.
This ministry really struck a chord in my heart. These were kids who were hurting. Who had wounds inflicted on them by their fathers, the very people in their life who are supposed to love and protect them at all costs. It broke my heart, and opened my eyes a bit to all the broken people around me, and to my own brokenness. And it was through that ministry that I felt the calling of God to make ministry the heart of my life, for the remainder of my life. Yeah. I believe God’s asking me to be a missionary. I’m not exactly sure where, or when, or what that will look like, but it’s something I’m going to be pursuing. There are so many people in this world who are broken, hurting, living lives of bondage, living lives without the love of the One who can heal them, who can break their chains, who can give them life, joy, peace, and hope of something greater. It broke my heart. Our God doesn’t want this. He wants to do something about it. He wants chains to be broken. He wants to bring the healing, bring the life, bring the newness and the hope that makes old men run and leap with joy. He wants to love. He *does* love. And you know what’s crazy? He chooses to use us to bring that life. He has chosen me to bring that chain breaking love. I am but a vessel of His love, which He chooses when to fill, and where to pour out that love. Our God doesn’t need us. He doesn’t need us to pick up the little girl begging on the street, dust her off, and tell her she’s loved. He doesn’t need us for anything. He can do any of this Himself. But He chooses us despite that. He brings us into His Kingdom, and through us, he brings more to His kingdom. And that can be done anywhere. You don’t have to be in a third world country to show people the love of the Father. You don’t have to be a missionary, a pastor, you just have to be available. And ya know, I’m making myself available. I believe God is calling me to be a full time missionary, long-term. I don’t know what, where, when, to whom, and how that might look like, but I know the why: there’s broken, wounded people in need of the loving touch of the Father.
Thank you all for the faithful continuation of your prayers despite my lack of communication. I’m very very sorry for not having written a blog post sooner, but I vow to make them a much more regular thing. I love you guys very much, and I will have another post detailing what I’ve been up to lately. Oh, and, I’m in Nicaragua teaching English. More on that to come.
