This week I had the “pleasure” of driving from Oklahoma City to Tuscaloosa, Alabama. This was a brilliant idea a few weeks ago when gas was fairly above a reasonable price, but now that it has gotten into the absurd range, my trip out there ended up saving somewhere around $20 and taking me about 11 hours (one way). However, I don’t know if I’m just a glutton for punishment, but I rather enjoy hours alone in a car. It’s not because I’m anti-social, it’s more so just because it forces me to think, and eventually those thoughts go beyond myself. Plus, there’s only so many times I can hear the top 10 countdown and not want to jerk my car into the median (seriously, when did that crap become talent? I know I sound old…)
I digress. Aside from the random phone calls I get while driving (with my hands free device, I choose not to die that way), my stops at the gas stations are really my only form of interaction for the entire day. I usually grab my coffee, bag of sunflower seeds, and whatever other thing that I don’t need catches my eye, and I get out. I never really know what to think of these people behind the counter. When I’m driving through these random cities in whatever state I’m passing through, I tend to treat them like a Roulette wheel and just throw out the “How are you?” and hope not to get shot in the face. It may sound extreme, but some people are just ticking time bombs. Not everyone appreciates a friendly hello.
Mary was behind the counter today, and everything in me wanted to just walk away after her response. It was one of those, “not what she said but how she said it,” times, and I knew I needed to probe a little farther. It’s kind of my job. She doesn’t know me from Adam (now I sound even older, who still says that?), but I had to ask again. She told me I was nice but that this wasn’t the time to get into anything, and I wasn’t the person to get into it with. I told her that that was probably true, but sometimes we need an outside perspective or kind word to make it through. She smiled and just said, “I just wasn’t expecting to be a teller at a gas station, and today is one of those days that it just hit me.”
What do you say to that? Oh, God has a plan and He wants to take care of you. Sure, that’s truth, but it doesn’t mean anything to someone that doesn’t believe it. For the next five minutes, I asked Mary about what she would be doing if she could. It took a little to get her talking, but once she started, she didn’t need me anymore. Then I asked her what needed to happen to start taking steps into that dream. Was it even possible anymore? I could see her wheels start to turn and eventually she came up with some practical (highly unlikely from an outsider’s perspective), and seemingly attainable goals. Will she ever attain them? I’ll probably never know.
When I got in the car, I wrestled with the idea of whether or not I had given Mary false hope. I walked away without giving her any accountability, she never even asked my name, and I offerred zero practical help. As I thought about whether or not I just set her up for further failure, I had to shut my thoughts up. How many of you have had someone criticize your dream? Anyone can poke holes in a vision or dream. How often do we have people fuel them? Sure family can help encourage them, and our moms can be our biggest fans, but what happens when we leave the house?
One thing I do know from that conversation is that Mary’s dreams have been criticized her whole life. Some to the point where she’s never even taken the first step before it’s killed. Whether it’s false hope or not isn’t for us to determine. Some people just need one word of encouragement to take the step. Will Mary succeed in any step she takes? That’s not for me to decide. I just want to make sure she at least takes a step.
