Finally, the day has arrived. This is one of those bittersweet moments where I just pray that God gives me something to celebrate because it’s hard for me to leave this place. I can’t believe another three months has gone past and it’s time for me to return to the States again. As much as I love traveling and change is a huge part of my life, there are times when I think it would be nice to be some place for more than three months at a time. Nevertheless, it’s my last full day and it’s time to take advantage of it. First thing is first, I need to get back into the jail.
As many of you may know, the jail ministry out here in the Philippines has been a huge part of my life, and I have developed some very close relationships with the men and women that are behind bars. Unfortunately, because of a breach of privacy laws, we were set to serve a minimum of a two month suspension. I’m fine with serving the time for the mistake we made, but unfortunately for me, the two month suspension lifted a week after I supposedly leave. I’ve been compliant for two months, but I knew I had to try something because I needed to see them all before I left. After exchanging a few e-mails, facebook messages and wall posts with the warden, my prayer was answered. He wanted to discuss the future of our ministry and invite us back in early.
I was just hoping for a special visit to say goodbye, but we’re actually able to return to our ministry immediately, even if I only get one day with it. As I tried to find all of my pastors to tell them the good news, one by one we were able to celebrate. I was able to return to the jail this afternoon and spend time with the people I’ve missed so much. As I made my rounds from cell to cell, I was able to sing, talk, and pray with familiar faces, and even get introduced to a few new ones. I tried to explain the reason for my long absence, but they all told me it was OK because they knew I would come back. Before I knew it, our three hours were up. I’ve never seen three hours fly by that quickly before.
On my way out, one of the prisoners grabbed my hand and told me he had an urgent need. We were all in a hurry to get out because our time was up and we wanted to respect the new rules, but when he made his request, I was stopped dead in my tracks. The inmate said, my friend Dodong has stage four stomach cancer and we think it’s spread to the rest of his body. I reminded him I was leaving and I couldn’t really do anything, but I assured him my friends would be there to help find his friend and maybe pray with him. I was knocked off my feet to realize his friend was three feet away from me, hidden in the corner of his bed.
Dodong rolled off his bed, revealing the growth that was on his stomach. Many of you may have seen the pictures of the swollen stomachs on African children that are battling various diseases. This was my first time to see it on a full grown man. It looked like there was a beach ball under his shirt and I could tell he was in great pain. Dodong’s friend told me that he was extremely poor and knew that he would never leave the prison alive. He has been able to see a doctor, but since the cancer is already in stage four, odds are it has spread to the rest of his body, so the only thing the doctors could prescribe was to make him comfortable. I don’t know when that prescription equated to sharing a cell with 60 other men, eating a few bowls of rice a day, and sleeping on a plywood bed, but there are some questions I will never have answers to.
It’s rare when I feel this powerless and I didn’t have an answer. I tried to pray with him, but I was told there was no time. I tried to assure him that my friends would return another day, but I don’t think that satisfied him. There was literally nothing I could do to help him. I don’t know if this is my way of trying to do something, but I knew I needed to tell the story. Odds are when I return, Dodong won’t be around for me to check on, and not for the reason that everyone is hoping for. I don’t know why God does the things He does or shows us the glimpses He does, but my ways are not His, and He’s been doing this life thing a little longer than me. All I can do is try to remember to pray and try to be obedient when I actually remember. Sometimes I think I’ve seen too much, but I know that if I want to search for the heart of God, I’m only just beginning.
