I’ve been meeting with a young mother that I’ve been helping support. When I returned to her and asked he what her plan was for survival, she asked me to take the baby. She kept telling me how the baby was so sick and she couldn’t work with an infant and had no way of ever providing. Furthermore, at the age of 18, she was fearful she would regret having the baby and not look at him with love. Not exactly the answer I was hoping to hear. I’ve been trying to counsel her through this, but I’m way out of my league. This woman loves her baby, but she’s faced with such a tough decision.
Today, it was time to allow her to meet with our resident social worker and see what the options were. I went to load her up in the van with a couple of trusty sidekicks (the most important woman in my life not related to me, Tara, and her squad mate Christy) and we took off for what could be a pretty emotional day. When I walked the mother into the office, our social worker asked me to take the baby. This was the first time in his 17 month life that they wouldn’t be in the same room together. After about 45 minutes, I was asked to distract the baby and load up the family because they would surrender the baby. Where I expected tears, I saw relief.
I can’t even imagine what this girl is thinking, so I told Tara and Christy not to leave their sides. We took her and her sister grocery shopping, and this mother looked like a little girl again. For the first time in six months, she looked her age. I’ve been torn all day about what to fear. On one side, the bond between a mother and child is one of the tightest bonds God has created. On the other side, sometimes unfair things happen to women, and their consequence is another human life. While I know this mother loves her baby, no child should ever be seen as a consequence.
A few hours ago, I went back to check on our new child at the children’s home. This baby was still wailing when we left, so I just expected more. I heard his voice from halfway across the camp, but it only came in spurts. I expected to see him still fighting with whoever was holding him, but he was dying out laughing as all the older kids played with him. For the first time, he had brothers and sisters. He will now have three full meals a day with two snack times in between. If he’s sick, he’ll go to the pediatrician for the first time. Tonight, he’ll even have his own bed.
I still don’t know what to think. Everything in me wants to put the family back together, but what’s right? I can’t try to fix things that God wants to open up. This mother would have never heard about the orphanage or would have never seen surrendering her child as an option if it weren’t for me. I don’t know what to feel. All I know is that right now, a child is in a loving environment that can also provide for and take care of him. He’s always been around love, but he’s also always been in need. It’s a big day and it’s one of those days that I’m reminded I don’t know why things happen the way they do. Maybe this is the plan…
