I’ve slowly been getting to know Bernard and our conversations always interest me. He is one of those rare people that never stops smiling, but for some reason, he also chooses isolation. One day I asked him why he was such a personable guy, but still remained alone. He told me about how he didn’t want any distractions from the world, but he just wanted to honor God by focusing on Him and working diligently on the task in front of him. Well, that was a good enough answer for me.
First thing today, Bernard came up to me and asked, “What do you think about baptism?” I didn’t fully know what he was looking for, so I just said, “Well if it’s good enough for Jesus, then I want it to.” He thought for a minute and said, “OK, I want to be baptized, I’ll get the water.” Well, that didn’t take long, but I wanted to push a little more. I just had to stop him and ask what he knew about baptism and what it truly meant to him. Then he asked me, “Am I a Christian before I get baptized or after?” Tricky question. I know several people that have been baptized and are not Christians (I was one of them for a while). I also know a few people that I would consider Christians that have never been baptized, Bernard is one of them.
A few months ago, we did a baptism for one of the cells. Since then, everybody wants to get dunked in the blue, 50 gallon trash can. Bernard told me how he was one of the first ones that had become a Christian in the prison, and He wanted to be one of the ones with a “city jail baptism”. I don’t know what provoked me to ask him this, but I pushed, “If you get baptized, it means you are publicly making a stance for Christ and his body. Will you then join in with the body?” He’s been in isolation for so long, that I’ve wondered if he actually trusts anyone. The next few minutes were very telling.
Bernard fought moving into a cell or even joining in community with another group. He told me he was fine with our one on one visits and his time alone. Unfortunately, God doesn’t call us to isolation, but He actually calls us to go to the world. I told Bernard that I didn’t want him to second guess his baptism, because I do believe it’s time. The thing I want him to ask is whether or not he’s ready to join in on the work with Jesus and the Father. God himself is in community as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. So again, I tell Bernard, “If it’s good enough for God, then I want it to.” He wasn’t as readily accepting of this one, but his time will come. It’s hard to trust someone else this side of heaven. But in the end, isolation is just as destructive, and a good bit more lonely…
