What god’s been teaching me:
When I was little my mom gave away my puppy an uncle gave me. At the time, we were living in an appartment, and didn’t know how to take care of a puppy. We didn’t want it to poo/pee everywhere, so at night times, we kept it in the bathroom, with the lights off to save electricity. It would bark all night. One day when I came home from school, my puppy was gone. My mom had taken the puppy to her grandmother’s, which was more than an hour away by train. I was devastated, and cried forever. I think from that point on, I started to take care of things. Without realizing, I started to do things for people, or try to take care of those I loved, in fear that they’ll leave me or that I’ll lose them otherwise. I was afraid of abandonment.
I didn’t have a very long childhood. I grew up too fast. My father never commented on good things I did, but if I were to do something not so good, I’d hear criticism. I craved approval. One way was by growing up fast. I got many comments from adults like, “oh, he’s so mature,” “he’s like an old man/scholar,” or “he’s so grown up.” I learned how to behave like an adult very quickly, especially around adults. I believe I did this to hear approval from an adult, b/c I wasn’t getting it from my dad. I never got a full childhood. Becuase of this, I act like a 12 yr old a lot of times. I’m still trying to have a childhood, despite being in the late 20’s.
How’s that for playing psychologist?
