During training camp, I got to experience a new type of worship. I sat in a large room, the lights went dark, the music blared and suddenly everyone’s hands were stretching to the sky. I’ve been working for many years to find that music is another way to speak to and connect to God, and day one of training I looked around and opened my eyes like a newborn infant, seeing a new world.
I hesitantly lifted my hands, lifted my eyes to the sky and felt an overwhelming sense of peace. For the first time that night I realized that I would be okay, a reminder that God was going to sustain me for the next ten days in the woods.
Over the next ten days, I dove into hours of worship, moments where I lifted my hands and found God grasping them. Moments where I dropped to my knees and felt Gods hand on my shoulder. Moments where we gathered as a squad, praying fiercely for squadmates.
One night the singer said “I feel like God is saying you guys need a release, everyone yell out with me- HA” and we all yelled out as loud as we could. And my mind flashed to this verse… Psalms 100:1-2:
“Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
Worship the Lord with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.”
That shout, Ha, was suddenly my shout to the Lord, my shout of joy, my release from my anxious thoughts, and fearful doubts that consumed me. I could look at the sky and say HA and feel Gods calm and peace overtaking my soul.
After training camp, I learned to find my God, my Papa amidst the chaotic noise of the world through song. I could play a song, and hear God speaking to me through the lyrics. And as a prepare to leave in a little over 30 days, I’m listening to Papa’s music more than ever. I’m hearing His voice among the noise.
In the noisest of days, I’m remembering his choir and looking around to see the new world that God is laying before me. As I prepare for 11 months I prepare for the unknown, the challenges, the terrifying, and the new. God is good, so good and each time I’m on my knees looking for courage I will lift my eyes to the sky and whisper HA.
So here’s to the moments of HA the moments when we feel joy, fear, anxiety, and utter freedom. Heres to the moments of HA, where we can get filled with love, and peace from our creator, our Papa.
