I’m anxious, its just a reality.
I think too much about what others say, I doubt my skills.
I get scared for no reason.
I’ve talked myself out of seminary about 200 times.
I’ve talked myself into a bubble where I was safe. But God has been nudging me outside that bubble. He called me to abandon the bubble and fall into his arms in another country (or 11 countries).
Through my bubbles lacking I found the truth, I know the truth, I’m safe with God. Sometimes I forget it, sometimes I still doubt but his love never dwindles.
In worships at debriefing this past month, I looked around and noticed friends raising their hands praising God. Some danced for God. Some knelt and prayed. Some cried some leaned on others. But each worship I found a spot in the back of the room, I sat legs crossed, arms down and just watched. I didn’t feel called to stand and I asked God why and then I realized- I was finally safe– no fear- no doubts- just God’s embrace.
During worship I didn’t have any fear, I was in the presence of God and the fear fled like a scared animal hiding from Gods presence.
I realized…
My fear says you’ll never be good enough.
My God says your more perfect than you could ever imagine.
My fear says no one loves you
My God says I’ve never loved anyone more.
My fear says you’ll never make your parents proud.
My God says I love you, and they love you more than words can describe.
So in the midst of a mini worship tonight I pray to God to reveal some words of truth for us all…
What God wants us to remember:
I’m not safe here you whisper to yourself.
But you are safe in my arms.
Even when things are scary, I am here.
When you are weak, I am your strength.
When your heart races and you can’t catch your breath
I calm the anxiety.
I’m safe here? You question me
You are safe with me.
I am your rock, I am your protector.
I won’t let you fight this battle alone.
Be strong, do not be afraid.
I will give you every place you put your foot.
I will guide you.
I am your strength.
you are strong, you are safe, you are loved.
You are never alone, you are never outcasted.
The most important part of this lesson actually surrounds something so small but so large in my heart- a key. I got a key from a stranger before the race, something that would be a lesson from God. My word was- Safe. I am safe and God wanted me to know that. Now I wear this necklace as a promise from my papa.
