This week has been a roller coaster, to say the least.
Wednesday 4/11 I was rubbing my tired neck mid teaching and felt a bump, something that wasn’t supposed to be there. I felt immediate anxious and went to the doctor the next morning.
Tuesday 4/12 What I thought was a lump in my neck turned into three masses under an ultrasound. Suddenly I felt anxiety start to triumph and I watched all my thoughts about the World Race and my summer job fade into the dark.
This could be serious, this could be dangerous, this is bad…
As I waited for the doctor to call I felt the fear taking over but I was reminded by my church of Gods love in the midst of fear. So I reached out to family and friends for prayers, and I reached out for spiritual support through bible verses. One thing that stood out was a friends verse, Isaiah 46:4 “I will carry you, I will sustain you, I will rescue you.” That immediately brought a sense of calm to the sea of fear and anxiety. God is sustaining me.
Monday 4/16 morning they called and said I needed to get a Cat Scan. The masses were my lymph nodes and they weren’t supposed to look like that. The Cat Scan would determine the soft tissues “suspicion”…
Tuesday 4/17 afternoon a Cat Scan. My head, neck, and chests soft tissue examined under a large machine that made me want to hyperventilate. Amidst the humming of the machine, I whispered: “God sustains me.”
Thursday 4/18 I woke up feeling an uncontrollable sense of peace. God was whispering everything was going to be okay. My church(es) was praying. My family and friends were praying. People were even donating to my funds amidst the testing saying “she’ll still go”. People were more confident in my health than I was. Then the phone rang, and the nurse said they aren’t suspicious.
So no signs of cancer?
“No signs of cancer” she confirmed. After a whirlwind of a week, after doubts and fears, I was sustained by God. God gave me peace, gave me a community to lean on. God will prevail. God is great. My family and friends are great.
God will sustain me amidst all my fears.
