Something the Lord has been speaking about to me lately is the fear of man. The fear of man is worrying about what others think of you, how they perceive you and whether someone accepts you based on action. I have always worried about what people thought of me, how they saw me and being accepted. I have let it control my life at times, and other times, completely sick of letting it control me, have declared "I don't care what anyone thinks!" while the whole time I really did.
Lately the Lord has just been whispering to me to let Him take that place. Always following Him, pleasing Him and letting him take that impossible fear of man, the people pleasing, the striving away.
He has been showing me what it means to fear Him.
He first started talking to me about it at training camp. Letting the Holy Spirit move me, and not letting what others thought matter, because what He had me doing and what He was showing me was much more important. More recently He has been having me put it into practice here at home.
One incident happened while I was at the park for a run. I kept running the same loop, and each time I would pass a man sitting alone on a bench. I felt the Lord say go pray for him. What? Nope, not gonna happen, I am not doing that, no way. Look at him! He doesn't want to be bothered. go pray for him. Let me finish this loop Lord, if he is still there, I will. Well, of course he was still there. Unfortunately, I was still too proud, and I ran by again. go pray for him. Ok, God ok, I hear you! don't let the fear of man stop you. What? Where did that come from? don't let the fear of man stop you. Remember Peter. Oh wow. I immediately remembered how Peter denied Christ three times. Yes, God, I hear you.
So next time around, I stop. I walk casually by, like I am looking for a water fountain (sorry, God, but I did). I said hi to the man. He smiled. I asked what he was reading. Just the bible, he responded. Ok God. I got it. You even sent me an easy one. Someone that is open to prayer and I tried to turn it down. So we chatted. He told me about his grandkids, and how he lived in the motel nearby. I told him about the race and asked if I could pray for him. I prayed over his living situation and for peace to his life. He smiled and I smiled. I thanked God for showing me what was stopping me from this encounter so that I could overcome it and make a new friend.
In worship, I sometimes find myself wanting to jump and shout. It's not easy, I mean we raise our hands in my church. We shout amen. We clap. We sing. We jump around a bit. But lately I just find myself shouting and jumping A LOT. Like a lot, a lot. Which leads to me thinking…that poor person beside me. I cannot sing for the life of me, and I am just yelling in their ear. But God says, thank you. Thank you for jumping with joy in my presence. Thank you for not being able to hold in your praise. Thank you. So poor person beside me, I am sorry. Maybe God will bless me with the spiritual gift of singing one day. So far it is not happening, but that's not really stopping me.
Yesterday at church I received this word in overcoming the fear of man. Our pastor was speaking to the dads, and he told them not to compare themselves to other dads and not to try to copy what other dads were doing, but to look to the Lord and He would show them the type of dad to be. Is that not exactly what we should do as a follower of Christ? Do not look to others, do not copy what they are doing, but look to our Heavenly Father for confirmation of what He wants us to do?
Oh Jesus. Keep showing me how to fear the Father more and people less. Continue showing me how to keep my eyes on you and off of those around me. Just keep me walking Your path, following Your ways. Grab me up and set me straight when I wander. I just want to follow You. Keep showing me what that looks like.
Keep revealing to me my fear of man.
Because nothing is more precious than the fear of the Father.
