Comparison. It’s such an ugly little lie. It sneaks in and tells us that we aren’t good enough, we aren’t pretty enough, that we aren’t strong enough. It attacks the very core of who we are. And we let it. We allow ourselves to think that we aren’t ‘as good’ as someone else because we have this twisted thought that somehow this is ‘humility’.
You’re not someone else. Good. But you are someone awesome. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that, with knowing that, with walking in that authority. When we allow comparison to come in, when we look at someone else and say ‘I’ll never be that’, we allow the enemy to steal a little of who we were created to be.
These past few weeks have been an opportunity for me to walk through this battle and to discover more and more who I am in Jesus.
When I was asked to step into leadership for this month, I was immediately hit with negative thoughts of self-doubt. I started comparing myself to others who were stepping into the same position and saw myself falling short.
Then we arrived in Thailand, and I quickly discovered that the leader I was before the race no longer exists. Instead all that had been stripped away and I started learning what it looks like to be a leader who first follows. I started learning what it looks like to lead from a place of rest, and to not let responsibility overtake identity.
In short, I was in a vulnerable place. I began comparing myself not only to my co-leader; but to the girls around me. Who was I to be leading them? These are strong beautiful confident women and I couldn’t see what they could possibly need from me. I didn’t feel worthy; I allowed comparison to make me doubt who I was created to be.
As you can imagine this just went swell, and I lived happily ever after.
Not.
It culminated in me sitting on my sleeping pad in a crying mess, with a head cold and completely worn out, after less than two weeks of ministry. The devil really likes to wear you down quickly when you let him in.
I just sat with the Father and He whispered: I trust you, I trust you. Now you trust Me. Trust Me that you are enough. Trust Me that YOU are who these girls need right now. Trust Me.
I realized that not only was I comparing myself to others, I wasn’t leading from a place of rest, but a place of my own strength. I was trying to be someone who I wasn’t created to be. In the process, I was losing the identity of who I am in Christ.
Trust Me.
I am a worthy daughter.
I am confident.
I am enough today, tomorrow and every day.
I am not anyone else, but I am the best me I can be.
I trust my Father.
I listen to His voice, not the voice of the enemy.
So to all you other beautiful, strong, kind, worthy daughters of the King, I want to share this with you. Don’t get sucked into this trap of comparison. Know who you are, whose you are and what you are worth.
You are worth more than comparing yourself to someone else. You are worth more than throwing up after dinner to look like the airbrushed model in that magazine. You are worth more than a night with a stranger to feel loved. You are worth more than sitting in the sidelines while others play the game. You are worth more than staying in an abusive relationship just because it is a relationship. You are worth more than any status symbol or any cheap substitute for love.
You are the daughter of a King; therefore you are a princess.
You are loved.
You are equipped.
You have access to a heavenly kingdom.
You have confidence, walk in it.
Trust your Creator, the One who made you. The One who knows exactly what you were created for and exactly who you are equipped to be.
You’re worth it.
