We were asked to write a blog about how we felt before leaving on this mission trip. Here is what I’m expecting…
– to experience the buzzwords of “authentic community” as a team to the point that it becomes an irreplaceable part of my life
– to learn not just about “spiritual” things, but this incredible place that God has created for his creation.
– to have my eyelids taped open and filled with a reality that I can’t turn away from (figuratively speaking)
– to recognize the enormity of God and his love for me and his Creation
– to have the time and encouragement to reflect (aka blog) that I haven’t had recently
– to try a food less appealing than provel cheese.
– to be able to hear God’s voice clearly. (It’s frustrating just trying to guess all the time.)
– to attempt to grasp how God is orchestrating the events of my life for his glory
– not to come back with all the answers.
– not to think that a place or person will bring my life fulfillment
– not to do it on my own power and determination.
– not to put up a facade to my teammates, but grow with them as we are closer to Christ.
Prior to going: I’m really big into living life in the moment you are in, yet also planning for the future appropriately. For that reason, I feel content focusing my time and energy on the here and now, but then there is this voice is the back of my cerebrum that says “world race.” Just like many reading this, I’m sure you are the type of person to be busy I all the time. The thing is, I do it to myself because I like being busy. With that said, I have a lot going on right now with work, graduate school, tutoring, more grad school, the all-important soccer, kickball, and basketball teams. I guess I just want to have a balance. To not be shoving my World Race thoughts back until months from now, yet I know my time in St. Louis is coming to an end and I want to make the most of it in regards to relationships and teaching. I don’t know if this is a thought, concern, worry, contemplation, whatever, but I’m still sorting through the whole living with/close friends not being believers. Although it’s been hard at times, living with people that don’t believe the same as me has concreted my faith even more. Yet, I have seen on a small scale the power and necessity of community. Jesus spent a lot of time with “sinners”–oh those horrible sinners–but he lived life with his followers. I guess what I’m trying to get at is that however amazing and life changing the World Race is, it’s not reality. I mean, I don’t foresee myself traveling the globe with like-minded Christians for the rest of my life. When I was at Beach Project, and even at college in general, there was such an incubator effect being around a lot of like-minded believers, and I grew a ton. Yet, I have experienced the growth that can occur when not in that environment. I always want to have community, certainly, but as I stated in another blog, I have this curiosity where I often want to understand how/why someone could think differently than I. Another thought is that this is kind of my second “experience” since college, and I don’t want my life to be me just hopping from one city (or country) to the next. There is so much to be said for planting oneself in a place, experiencing discipleship with a group of believers, and dedicating long term to a ministry. I wrote in my journal the other day that I feel like this World Race might be the last shuffling around for me for a while. I don’t EXPECT God to tell me where and when by September of 2010, but I wouldn’t mind knowing.
Wow, I went from completely structured writing to rambling. Hmm…
