One of my good friend at work asked me this question, “How does it feel like to win an Oscar?”. He smiled at me expecting me to be over thrilled, but instead it made me think a lot. It wasn’t just a simple answer of “a dream come true!”, there was a lot of different emotions. I felt I learnt something that I want to share with you.
Now I want to clarify a couple things. Our team at MPC worked on a small but very difficult section, of Blade Runner. To create a realistic CGI version of an actress (Sean Young) when she was 35 years younger. This was a high pressure goal as many movies before have struggled in the realism of humans. After 10 grueling months of working on 8 4K close up shots of Rachel, we have seemed to raised the bar. There are a lot of articles speaking about how we pushed the boundaries of realistic human creations.
Although we didn’t get our names on the Oscar, many would say that our contribution to the movie definitely played a big part on winning. On top of this, I was very blessed to be nominated for the Visual Effects Society in ‘Outstanding Animated Character in a Photoreal Feature’ where my name was put in the nominations. I would have to say this would be the peak of my career and was a joy to partake in such a project. I really thank God for this once in a life time opportunity and am very grateful for it!
Ironically, while all this award ceremony was going on, I was struggling pretty hard on my current project I’m working on. Where I was having a very successful time on Blade Runner now I was being told I needed to improve my department on my current project. In hopes to make things better, I worked a lot of overtime. Trying to balance overtime, and a lot of volunteering pushed me to my first ever mental breakdown. I couldn’t feel or move my arms and legs for an hour. I was so blessed that my girfgirlfr was there to take care of me thethro it all. Life can be very circumstantial. By this point, I started to learn my lesson. I realize there is only so much you can do. I realize you must do with what you given. Nowadays, I still put in a lot of effort, but tried to keep in mind that I can only do my best.
So I wondered, what does it all mean? I’ve worked so hard in my career to lead up to this position. I’ve been blessed to have made it so far. But the countless of hours (literally countless since we don’t get paid overtime), all the stress, all the sickness. With every big project with overtime, I would end up with something severe, pneumonia, bronchitis, stomach ulcers, etc. And worse, contributing to a failed marriage. Was it all worth it putting in so much time and effort in your job? I’m not sure.
Its really nothing new. Have a work/life balance. Your company won’t be beside you at your deathbed. Career is only one aspect of your life. I’ve heard these myself yet I still didn’t act upon it. Maybe it takes more people talking about it. Maybe you don’t really learn something until you really go through it.
This is something I’m constantly reflecting on as in the next several months, my daily life will be quite different! Friendships that have grown here in Montreal, and the church family who have become very dear to me, my friends and family over in Vancouver, I’m learning to cherish every moment I have and remember to see the bigger picture outside of work!
I hope that through my story, you will reflect and contemplate what is really important in life. And by that, spend some time in gratitude with what you have and the people you love! <3
