Coming to Thailand I was probably one of the most excited people on D Squad. I was looking forward to working with Lighthouse in Action and human trafficking. We arrived in Bangkok and I was just thrilled to be here. Everything about this place was amazing! We took the coolest bus to Chiang Mai and enjoyed a nice, relaxing debrief. It was the last day of debrief when it hit me. This day was supposed to be a day of fun with the squad, riding elephants and bamboo rafting in the jungles of Thailand, only to realize that this was the start of a long and tough month for me. South Sudan hit the men of D and E Squad hard. Malaria, typhoid, different parasites, and it hit me on this final day of debrief. I didn’t think much of it at first but then after one of the worst nights of my life I decided to head to the hospital. I got my blood tested and results showed that I didn’t have Malaria or Dengue Fever. Praise God!! But the next night it hit me again. I had a 105-degree fever, I threw up six times, I couldn’t eat or drink anything and I was delusional. I was taken to the ER and admitted into Chiang Mai Ram Hospital, the place where I would be spending most of my time in Thailand. Four days, two platelet transfusions and tons of meds later I was released. I rested up a few days and was put on some malaria meds. My team and I set of for our ministry in Mae Ai. I was still feeling very weak and I noticed that my urine was rather dark. Yikes! This was pretty scary. I went to the doctor and the next day I was back at Chiang Mai Ram Hospital. I had a reaction to the meds and my red blood cell count was very low. I spent the next eleven days in the hospital recovering.
During my time in the hospital I wasn’t in the best mood. I had a few days that I broke down and just wanted to go home. I wanted to give up. I wasn’t mad at God but I was definitely questioning… why? Why am I in this hospital bed? Why am I not out there ministering to and serving these people?
About a week ago I was in my hotel room in Phnom Penh by myself and I started watching the “Freedom” films from Passion Conference. (For those who don’t know the freedom films are stories of people who were trapped in slavery and escaped) I completely broke down! I was so confused and again questioning God. An estimated 27 million are trapped in slavery today! That’s more than ever and most people have no idea. Thailand is one of the most-involved countries in human trafficking. Millions of women and children are sold each year, mostly into sex slavery. Most of our ministries focused on human trafficking but I didn’t get a chance to be a part of that. Two groups worked with Remember Nhu, which is an orphanage that has rescued children, one group was working in the bars with the prostitutes, and our team was in the village where it all starts. Some families of the village sell their children just to make some money. My team was there to shine the light of Christ and to serve the people, to bring the presence of God, but I just hung out in my hospital bed.
As I lie there in my bed, I though back to just a few days ago when we had our mini debrief in Siem Reap. We had worship and watched Louie Gilio’s sermon, Indescribable. As I sit here in Sihanoukville, Cambodia I still don’t know why I had to miss last month. It’s been two weeks and I’m just trying to focus on everything going on here. I know that God has a reason… maybe it was to break me more for these people that are stuck in this mess. Maybe it was a month of rest so I can really press in these last two months. I did get some peace just thinking about how big our God is. God is the creator of the universe; this earth is such a small part. God is so big that he doesn’t need my help with the problems of this world. He can handle everything! He promises that He will in His own time. I just have to give it to Him and know that He will make all things new.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”
Isaiah 55:8-11
My heart goes out for these women and children that have to go through this. My heart goes out for Thailand. It’s impossible for me to just look at the facts and not do anything. I know that I will be back in Thailand one day soon. I don’t know what it looks like but I know I’m going back!
Also, if anyone is willing to help out, my hospital bill was pretty expensive. It totaled to be over $6,000. Thanks to insurance, I only had to pay the $500 deductible. But that is sitting on my credit card right now and is piling up some interest. I don't really have a way of paying right now but if anyone is interested in helping, please send an email to [email protected] or send a message via facebook. Thanks a ton!
