Many of us have not so positive things that we have experienced throughout our lives that may have affected us tremendously. These things are what we know as “our struggles”. Whether past or present, some have such an impact on us that we literally force ourselves to bottle them inside, promising ourselves that they will go to the grave with us.
Holding to ourselves could be the result of being ashamed of ourselves, fearing the judgment or acceptance of others, or not knowing any other way to cope. It’s like we tell ourselves that what we have been through or what we have done is the worst thing on earth & we write ourselves off as unworthy. We often crawl into our shell & hide from reality.
This is when we bring out the poker face or false self. Inside we hurt to the core but we refuse to show it to our peers. We may cry & mourn in private but we wear a fake sense of peace in public. There are many times we want to cry out but our pride for self worth will never let us. This leads to more brokenness that we may not even realize at the time as we continue losing our truth in the false identity we have built for the viewing of others.
Ask yourself this question, “is it only causing you harm or also just about every single person you have the opportunity to connect or share with on a deep level”?
If you answered “just about every single person you have the opportunity to connect or share with” then you are right.
There may have been many times where you have felt a tug to share your past acts that you have sworn yourself to secrecy over in hopes of encouraging someone in the midst of their storm but something held you back.
That something is the presence of the enemy himself who comes to steal, kill, & destroy. The enemy has a way of bullying us into silence by planting thoughts of negativity & neglect in our minds. We sometimes lack the discernment between the truth & the enemies voice.
Don’t be ashamed of your past & the things you have experienced. Someone needs to hear your story. Your story is your testimony. In the words of Mardie Shanahan, my amazing squad-mate, “your testimony is your greatest weapon against the enemy”. You were not the first to go through what you went through & you will not be the last. Use your testimony to be a blessing to others who are going through the storm that God has already freed you from. Your brothers & sisters need to hear that they are not alone in their time of struggle. Not only do they need your encouragement, but you need to let go & free yourself from the untruth being thrown out by the enemy.
Our lives belong to God: meaning our past, present, & future. He wants to use our struggles, no matter how terrible they seem to us, for His glory. With that being said, when you feel the tug to share your past or present struggles, don’t neglect; let go & let God have His way, He is probably wanting to touch a lost soul somewhere with exactly what you have to share.
Note to self!
Psalm 119:46-47: I will also speak of your testimonies before kings and shall not be put to shame, for I find delight in your commandments.
