I sit in bed at the moment and ask myself “what if God told me he didn’t have time for me”? “What if God said he had so many other things to spend his time on than to watch over me, to protect me, and comfort me”? “What if every time I cried out to him he never responded”?
I wouldn’t make it, I couldn’t get through without him. Every time I call he answers me, he loves me so much that he walks with me every step of the way.
All he asks of me in return is that I love him, love others, & that I seek him whole heartedly.
Over the past few days I feel that I have completely let him down. I’ve put other things before my intimate, personal sit down time with God. I have resulted to quick on the go prayer instead of sitting & listening to what God wants me to do for him through out the day. I woke up yesterday morning to a feeling of emptiness, realizing that I had fallen 3 days behind on my daily reading & study time. I felt horrible, how could I let everything else get in the way of what is supposed to be the most important part of my life? I know I’m not perfect & I know that we all fall short but it hurts me to my core when I neglect growth in my personal relationship with God.
I never want to hurt him, I never want to do things that will break his heart again as I once did. I don’t want to hinder our relationship because of my selfishness.
Yesterday morning was a flashback to a feeling I haven’t felt in months. A flashback to a feeling that completely ripped me apart on the inside because I knew that me neglecting had possibly hurt God.
Im sorry Father, I know I’ve said it already but I can’t say it enough. I realize that my time with you & being submerged in you presence is the most precious time of the day & I never want to neglect it again.
Without you I am nothing, with you I am strengthened! I’m am sorry
1Peter 2:2– AS NEWBORN BABES, DESIRE THE SINCERE MILK OF THE WORD, THAT YE MAY GROW THERBY
