There are rare moments on the World Race when you can be completely alone. Those moments tend to be in your tent if you are tenting that month (which is rare), in a room if the team mates are not in there (usually when you’re sick) or just sitting on the toilet with the door locked (if there is a door or a lock). Seems silly to write about this, but you need to understand being independent and having alone time to process through life is an actual blessing. I find myself talking to God the most when I’m in the bathroom though, I whisper out loud, I think of how much I miss talking to him out loud and how ridiculous it is that I am whispering on the toilet.
My biggest struggle on this race has not been the cultural differences, ministry projects, sickness or even giant spiders crawling on me at night (just kidding more like crawling on the walls). I can handle these things and hold on to perseverance and Gods truth when times are tough. Yet, finding alone time, that is struggle. Being in constant community 24/7, I have gotten use too. Being on an all girls team and now leading one I have mastered and have become more girly (in a good way). Yet, finding alone time, hum…my heart longs to recharge my heart battery.
I think back to the stories in the Bible about Jesus finding alone time to be and process with God. I think about how he climbed and sat on mountain tops alone. Funny, one of my favorite places to talk to God is in the desert behind my house in Arizona. On that mountain top I look out into Phoenix and remember to not get so sucked into the busyness of life, but to step back and appreciate it. On that mountain top in AZ, I remember telling God I was bored with life last year. I was thankful for everything, especially my family and friends, but was just bored with my life. Life was telling me it was time to find a career and make money. Time to start saving for retirement, pay off college debt, and go to grad school and pay off even more debt. All important and great things, but things that didn’t excited me, but instead made me feel bored and worried about the years to come. The world and my age of 24 (at the time) was pressuring me that it was time to find a good man of God and get married. And after 3 years of being single, I felt excited and ready for that chapter. Yet, where was the adventure I longed for? and well, that man.
On that dry desert mountain top, I watched the sunset and heard the coyotes hauling nearby. “God”, I said, “I want a life full of adventure and challenging times that will grow me in my relationship with you. I want a life beyond schedules and the 9am-5pm. I want a life full of the unexpected where fears are destroyed and dreams become reality. I want a life in which you lead and I follow and together we grow closer. The World Race route 5 leaves in January. 11 countries in 11 months, full of strangers and no assurance of tomorrow. You ready? How I am going to fundraise $16,254 dollars? How can this even be possible, I have no money and so much college debt to pay off? Excuses Smash Dreams.
So I sat on that mountain top and let money be the reason to not go. Money, was my excuse and seemed logical and realistic at the time. Yet, in that moment of letting that be the reason I couldn’t go on the race, God reminded me that he is a provider and together he would help me make this dream possible.
….
Today, I am on month 7 out of 11 months the World Race. This Sunday, I am going to sing in front of an African Church in Malawi and before the race I had the biggest fear of singing in front of people. More confident and bolder now, i am ready to step out into freedom and let the chains of fears fall around me.
Why do we let are fears control us? Why are we afraid to tell that guy or girl that we love them? Why are afraid to stand up and lead? Why are we afraid to ask for help or fear looking weak or inferior to others?
I’ve been thinking a lot about fear, anxiety, identity and self- worth lately. And I realized how easily the devil deceives us in our perspective. Yet, with God there is truth in our steps and he gives us his strength to overcome our fears and worries. And the devil has no power unless we give into his lies.
If not enough money is the excuse as to why we don’t pursue our dreams. Then planted we stand, but to bloom where we are planted we can’t. With God anything is possible and yes sometimes what we dream he has bigger dreams for us and plans change. But one thing I have learned lately is that God is never going to tell us that money is the reason you can’t pursue your dreams. For money God created for a purpose and God is our ultimate provider.
Perhaps, you are reading this and wondering what holds you back from pursuing your dreams. Or if you’re not I encourage you to think about it. I don’t know your hearts desires or the excuses that hold you back. But I do know this… Anything is possible for those who believe and if there is a will well, there is a way.
SO GET GOING & BE THE ADVENTURE! <3
I Love You!
-Wendy-
