Dining with the Devil
"Don't look back if you get out of this hell hole Irene!
Inmates that look back after they've been released always come back". -Jail friends.
Irene looked back and waved goodbye…
"I'm never coming back here", she thought as she walked out of jail. "God, how did let my life get here?"
Irene told Nicole, Kimberly and I her testimony with boldness in the kitchen where she has volunteered for the past 15 years. We could tell from the tears that fell from her eyes at Remar Orphanage in El Salvador that her past was painful to surface. Yet, she spoke with a story of redemption, a testimony that makes you realize that nothing you did, do, or will do is too out of reach for God to enter in and pull you out.
Together they dined in a drug infused world. Dining with Devil she called it. Every thought was consumed by the next high, the money to get high, and who to sell too. Meanwhile, they were a husband and wife with 3 young kids they kept hidden their secret world until it was to late.
"They're not buying from me anymore. Say they're clean" said Irene.
Let's see how long that lasts!"-ex husband
A business card was given to Irene from a neighbor who was now clean from drugs, Irene pulled it out and laughed. A rehabilitation center, what a joke, she thought.
Yet, when 12 policemen stormed her home days later and took away her kids. The rehabilitation card in her pocket became her only source of hope.
Irene wasn't ready to go through rehab or jail. How was she going to provide for her kids now? Luckily, her hearing wasn't for a year and she was allowed to be with her kids at Remar Orphanage in the mean time. "Mom, will you get well so we stay together as a family?" Her oldest daughter Jessica asked.
That question became the motivation she needed to get sober for rest of her life. The withdraws from her drug addicted body made her want to die. She recalls trying to keep the pain hidden from her kids, but realized they understood more than she knew.
"God, help me. I'm all alone in this".
"God help me," she cried out, "I want to die!"
It wasn't until her older daughter told her the statements below of love that she began to ask God for help.
"Mom, God loves you"
"Momma, I love you"
"Get better mom"
She recalls that she found God going through horrible withdraws one night. She remembered what her daughter had said to her and began to cry out for help. A swarm of peace came over her, and from that moment she realized that God had been with her the whole time. Despite, the horrible things she did, He was always there, asking, "Irene, are you ready to take hold of my hand and allow me to pull you out? Take hold of life of purpose i have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you".
God is never out of reach. We doubt Him, we ignore Him, we deny Him, but He remains the same, with the same amount of love for us. I'll never forget the night I asked God to pull me out of my double life. I can't say it was as destructive as Irene's, but I remember asking Him for help. The world on my shoulders, He pulled me out of my life the moment I surrendered my life to Him and believed.
Likewise, like Irene and I, God can pull you out of even the most impossible situations, if you let him.
Today, Irene lives and works in Remar Orphanage with her 5 kids and husband. Her older daughter Jessica died in car crash 3 years ago. That was heart breaking trial for the family, the daughter that gave her hope and helped her find God died too soon. Yet, through the pain her faith is stronger than ever.
<3 Wendiz
– off to Europe (Month 4)
