Where my heart is at right now:
As I was watching a sermon by Joyce Meyer on youtube, something she said caught my attention because it's something that's been on my heart lately:
"Enjoy where your at on the way to where your going."
This really hit me, because here I am on month 7 of the race, & I am constantly fighting an inner battle to be present & live in the present each & every day. The temptation to focus on the future, plan ahead, worry, wonder, or dream easily catches my attention & before I know it I catch myself thinking more about "what's next" than "what's now."
I want to be present. Wherever I am, whatever I am doing, I always want to live that moment to the fullest. I am realizing more & more how much of my time I take for granted & how much I focus on the future more than I should; while missing out on what God is doing in my life now. Here I am, in Serbia, & I am catching myself already thinking about life back home & what's next for me. Why can't I just be present where I'm at? Why can't I just trust that God has a plan for me when I get home? For now I am where I am meant to be. Isn't it funny how before going on a trip you could be so excited & you count down the days until you leave, then one day you catch yourself on the trip & your not even fully taking in each moment?! Or your dreaming of home when you know this might be the only chance in your life to visit that place?!
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being on this journey, I am having the time of my life & I feel so blessed to be where I am. But it really is a daily battle to choose into each day, each ministry, & each person we meet. Being on this journey gets exhausting at times & it seems easier to dream of "normal life" than live this radical crazy life for a year. & as I see each day pass by, I realize "wow I only have one week left in Serbia & 4 months left till I go home & this journey is over." I don't want to get home & look back over these 11 months feeling like I could have given more, I could have shared more of my heart, basically I don't want to end up playing the shoulda, coulda, woulda game. This is something that's been on my heart that the Lord is showing me, the power of now. We could easily miss so many blessings in a day by worrying or focusing on tomorrow. My heart is desiring to please the Lord today, to make every moment count today, to give my all in each opportunity that arises today, & to be present today & enjoy the present as it is a blessing from God.
This is what is on my heart right now, being present, fully present.
Lord, in life I pray to enjoy "where I am at" on the way to where I am going. Please help me to live present in each moment you've blessed me with & may each moment be pleasing in your sight. I desire to please you in the "getting to" & the "arriving" times in my life. With your guidance & help I know this is possible, continue to lead me & direct my paths.
