Blessed Be YOUR Name oh Lord, throughout all my days, no matter what life brings I choose to Bless YOUR Holy name!
Being on this race has not been easy for me,not that I expected it to be easy but I surely didn't expect some of the trials I've had. Ever since the beginning there has been challenges & I find myself constantly saying, "Lord, even though I see this huge mountain infront of me & even though I want to just give up, I trust that You are good & that You deserve to be praised at ALL times; so I choose to Bless Your name even when it's hard to do."
The other day, we were enjoying a worship service here in Romania, presented by a band & speaker from Texas & one of the songs they sang was "Blessed Be The Name of The Lord." As I was singing the words to this song, I felt God's amazing peace come over me & I realized throughout my entire life, whether good or bad situations come my way I always want to choose to Bless the Name of the Lord.
So as I journeyed on this race & found myself faced with trials I see that God is good even when bad things happen, He always is our comfort when we are in pain & when we are weak He is our strength. He never leaves us hanging, & I am so excited to be able to testify His goodness through experiences in my life!
Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
-On the race, I feel God has poured out blessings in abundance over my life. He blessed me with wonderful loving team mates & a leader who so genuinely desires to see us grow in the Lord. He provided all my funding, He provides opportunities of joy & fun to see the world & enjoy the beauty of His creation. He leads me into the lives of many around the world who I leave thinking "How did I ever live without knowing that person, they are such a blessing to me." He fully desires for His streams of abundance to be lavished over us. Coming on this missions trip I was expecting the most severe extreme living situations, only a couple times have I had to experience this. God has constantly provided: beds to sleep in, working toilets/showers, delicious food, & the company of some amazing people.
Blessed be Your name when I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name
-Being on this race I also experience days where I feel so dry & empty. I feel like I'm pouring out so much but being filled up so little. I lack personal time & personal space & I am homesick & tired of living by a daily schedule. This is 11 months of my life & I knew coming on the race not every day would be "amazing." Amongst this great once in a life-time journey, we still face many spiritual attacks & I often find myself fighting to "choose joy" when it would be easier to sulk & groan. I often feel my human flesh trying to take over what I know is right. It's a daily battle to fight for the joy of the Lord & choose into what's right. The temptation to give into "selfishness" is very present, but I thank God that He always sends what I need to hear my way, whether through a sermon, a friend speaking life words, or just the community we live in; I always end up feeling encouraged & blessed by the people in my life.
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
-This is my hearts desire, to always bless the name of the Lord regardless of what situation I find myself in.
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be Your name
-On this journey it's hard to see "the world all as it should be." We are constantly seeing people who can barely afford to survive, children who are sick or parentless, people who are living without hope, homeless people everywhere & the list goes on….. But we also get to see the excitement of people who hear Jesus name for the first time & how they respond to the amazing news, we get to see a desire for something deeper without the distractions of materialistic things & technology etc…. Seeing life in the eyes of others around the world is a blessing, to go beyond the familiar.
Blessed be Your name
on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
-In coming on this journey, I left having an income behind, I left with all the money I had (which wasn't much), & I left not knowing where I would live when I return home. I left without finishing school, & without knowing how my life would look when I return. I often times catch myself worrying over "money." I hate to admit this, I hate that this has always been something I struggle with, which is rooted to my upbringing & how my parents constantly stressed over money. I hate that I am sitting her going into month 7 of this race & I am already stressing over how I am going to afford rent when I get home, how I am going to eat, buy basic essentials, my airfare home etc…
"Though there's pain in the offering…" It's like I forget who provided the entire $14,800 I needed to finish the race! It's crazy how quickly I can doubt God's provision even when He's shown up my entire life over & over again with finances. So I am going to choose "BLESSED BE YOUR NAME LORD EVEN WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM GOING TO GET THE MONEY TO SURVIVE BEYOND THE RACE." This worry/stress over the future & money is huge for me but I want every situation in life to be blessing the Lord's name… He will provide, He always provides!
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
-Many times along the way I notice the little blessings God pours out. We get invited to people's homes for dinner, or for biscuits & pepsi, & it is always them giving their best to us. Or I find the little blessings when a child runs to me with a huge smile on their face & gives me a huge hug, or an elderly woman gives me a kiss on both cheeks. These little blessings end up bringing SO much joy into my life. I am instantly reminded how much of an impact a simple hug can have on someone, how much a smile can brighten someone's day. All these blessings remind me how much God is overseeing every single step I take & how in return I want Him to be praised through whatever I do in my life. I always want to "turn every blessing back to praise!"
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
-And finally, I bring up the hardest thing I've ever had to face in my life yet, my mother's death. My heart broke the day I found out she died. I felt emotions I never felt before, a constant sick feeling in my stomach, & trying to wrap my mind around what was now reality in my life seemed impossible. Trying to understand why God would allow this to happen during a time in my life when I wasn't near her, where I was miles away & helpless to her. The timing of it all really effected me, because I knew God called me to the mission field, but how would I still be able to continue on & give all of my heart to the people I serve around the world while it's broken, this seemed impossible to me. Then the peace of the Lord started to overshine the confusion inside me. Knowing that she was in the safety of the Lord's arm, never again to feel pain or sadness, never again to feel depression or insecurity. I knew it was because of the Lord's mercy that she was gone. He loved her so much & didn't want her to be in pain anymore. He knew by taking her it would redeem relationships in my family & overall He knew it was her time to go.
The Lord gives & takes away.
Looking back now over the last year, God brought a guy into my life who I can now call my best friend, Dan. He has been supportive of my trip 100%, loving & encouraging, & he was there with me through the loss of my mother & I really don't know what I would have done without him there.The Lord GIVES & takes away. He gave me Dan & took my mother. His love & mercy is so deep that He knew the perfect time to bring a guy into my life to be in a relationship with. He ordained it all & I am amazed by His perfect timing.
Blessed Be Your Name Oh Lord, whether life brings me happiness & joy or pain & grief, Blessed Be Your Name! My hearts desire!
