I can’t believe it’s already been 4 months. As I sit here writing this I still feel as if I just started the race. But when I think about all I have experienced and all I’ve seen God do it seems impossible that only 4 months have gone by. Ever since training camp I have know that I don’t really know who I really am and I’ve been going all over the world in pursuit of that knowledge.
This past month here in the Philippines has been a great way to close this first chapter of that journey in south east Asia. My team was working with a church called sunshine baptist. For our ministry we would go with members of the church into the public schools. We would talk a little bit about ourselves and share our stories of where we are and how we got here and share the gospel. It was an awesome opportunity for us.
I remember walking into that first classroom not having a clue what I was going to say. We had 20 minutes to fill and I went trusting that God would show up and give me the words to say and that it would be awesome, which was a pretty noble perspective to have I thought.
So after mumbling and fumbling through things that most people wouldn’t even call complete sentences I guess you could say I was a little frustrated.
“I thought I had done everything I was supposed to do God! Why did you leave me hanging in there?”
That was all I could think when I left that room. But there was no time to figure out the answer because we walked straight into the next room. I took a deep breath and said a quick prayer in my head. That must have been the missing part to the formula to see God work. I spoke more that time. It was even full sentences you could understand. But it felt weird. Like I was speaking just to fill time. I almost didn’t believe what I was saying.
That night I wrestled with God on what happened. This is what I came to do. To let people know they were loved, tell them they don’t have to live a life alone without purpose, just going through the motions. And it ended up that was exactly how I felt. I prayed and searched for an answer and in my quiet time the next morning God revealed some things to me.
He reminded me of a vision He gave me in Thailand. I was walking around on the world race doing everything but my eyes were rolled back in my head and I was examining my own brain the whole time. On my quest for my identity I forgot about all those around me. I forgot I was made to love them and serve them and give them life just as much as I was made to receive it. Once I looked out my whole perspective changed.
It no longer was about whether I had enough to say to fill time, or whether I could relate to people from the opposite side of the world. It was about loving people right where they are. Not judging but seeing where God is already working in their life and having the opportunity to be a part.
I would love to say it was all smooth sailing after that and that that was the missing piece to the formula that is ministry. But there is no formula. I got it wrong after that revelation plenty of times. I just got one step closer to loving people well, how they need to be loved.
So that’s one thing God has been showing me these first 4 months. On Saturday we will be off to Africa for 3 months and there will be plenty more lessons to be had. Again I want to thank everyone who has supported me financially and with prayer on this journey I am on. I have kept and will continue to keep you in my prayers. That God will bless you so much for your generosity and love that has brought be this far.
But on that note I would like to let you know that I am still in need of about 2000 dollars to be fully funded and the deadline is the 31st. So if you feel led to give please donate to continue all the work God is doing in me and through me. Thank you all much love
