What is Faith?
Defined as: “complete trust in someone or something” or “a strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.”
Risk is required to grow your faith. Without faith….we take no risks…where we take no risks, there is no trust. I trust God. Failure is inevitable, but I’d rather make the leap. I’ve taken God out of the box that I kept Him in for so long.
It was so INCREDIBLY difficult to finally commit to the Race after MONTHS of convincing myself I had talked myself into “God told me to go.” The funny thing is….I tried so hard not to go. I submitted my name and phone number first…then I ignored their calls. After two weeks of dodging each email and phone call I got a final email, “Ms. Conner, after unsuccessfully trying to contact you for weeks, we are revoking your application. Please feel free to resubmit your application at another time.” WHEW!!! I was relieved. So relieved that I returned a thank you email and expressed, “This just is not the right time in my life.” Then the dreams started. The hunger, the ACHE for this journey of faith with God grew until I couldn’t contain it any longer. I resubmitted my application. I am embarrassed to tell you that from there I still stalled, procrastinated, convinced myself I had talked myself into a personal desire and The World Race wasn’t the “right” thing to do. God had to be frustrated with me!! “Please God…let me get accepted!…PLEASE GOD!! Don’t make me go! I am not qualified…I am not able…DON’T let me get accepted!!”
….”Vivian! We have exciting news for you! YOU HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED TO GO ON THE WORLD RACE!!” …..
Wow. WOW!! This is happening! I am supposed to go. All lights green. But what about Aaron, God? But what if my Dad gets sick, God? But what about my friends here, God? But how am I supposed to raise over $16,000, God?! Anxiety, confusion, frustration….Dad’s words where firm, “God is not a God of confusion.” That is true. Why was I feeling like this?! I was trying to figure out everything on my own…taking care of everyone else in my mind. I originally applied for the July 2015 route and as you see, I am going in January. Yeah, I even told them I didn’t feel I was supposed to go and to remove my name from the list of accepted. Did you know that you can’t tell God “no”? Well…I can’t. I won’t. I want my life to be what He wants it to be for me. I want MORE. God is within me and not in a box. Thank you God for not giving up on me. Thank you go for not relenting and pulling me CLOSER and DEEPER. This love you have for me…I am speechless.
God has you Vivian. God will take care of you. I am yours God…use me. I am grateful. 
I was blessed with a worship service last night and heard this song for the first time.
GOOD GOOD FATHER by Housefires II
I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think your like
but I’ve heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night
You tell me that your pleased and that I’m never alone
You’re a Good, Good Father
It’s who you are, It’s who you are, It’s who you are
and I’m loved by you
It’s who I am, It’s who I am, It’s who I am
I’ve seen many searching for answers far and wide
But I know we’re all searching for answers only you provide
Because you know just what we need before we say a word
Love so undeniable I can hardly speak
Peace so unexplainable I can hardly think
As you call me deeper still
as you call me deeper still
as you call me deeper still into love love love
You are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways to us
