“BE STILL and KNOW that I AM GOD.” Psalm 46:10
God,
I see that man in his 40’s with his 15 year old girlfriend. I try to look away as I see him taking seductive photos of her in her bikini on the beautiful beach here in Cambodia. I don’t want to look away God. I don’t want to pretend I don’t see it. God, why does he think it is ok to be sexually intimate with a child? Why does she look happy? Is she actually happy? Does she cry herself to sleep at night? Does she love herself the way you love her? Does her self-worth rest in her body image…her sex appeal?
I see those young children walking among the night life here at the vacation hot spot in Cambodia selling bracelets and other things made of string. All these items look the same God. Who are they working for? They say they get half the money and the other half goes to their mom to pay for their school. Is it true God? Are these children safe? Why are they out so late? I know they see these things that are shocking to me…the drunkenness…the sexual immorality…do they think this is what life is about?
I see the overly drunken man stumble away from the woman he was walking with and stop in front of a local woman. He is so tall. He towers over her but doesn’t say a word. She say, “Everything is fine” but it sounds more like a question than a statement. I walk a few feet but then turn back. Why is she still standing there talking to him? Why doesn’t she run away? What does the woman he was walking with initially think? She just kept walking when he stopped. She looked back once and carried on her way. Do I need to help this woman? What do I say? Would that put me in danger? God, why doesn’t she walk away?
I see these children in dirty clothes hold out their hands and say, “Money. Money.” She doesn’t even look at me, at my friends I am with. She seems lifeless. “Money, she begs. My friend asks her, “What is your name?” Her eyes light up and she focuses in on my friend. “Layla” she says with a smile. She is 13 years old. She introduces her little brother who is 5 years old. I ask her, “What do you need money for?” She doesn’t understand. “Money,” she begs. GOD!! Why does she need money? Is she hungry? Is she taken care of? Where are her parents? Do they send her out to earn money for their family? God! What does this money go towards? Is it for food?! Is it for alcohol for her father or mother? Why is she dirty? I can see she does this nightly. How numb she is when begs for money…so robotic. I know she sees all the sin in this world out here at night. She is seeing what I see. God I have so many questions. Does she have the same questions? Does she think this is normal life?
I see that old, overweight man in his 60’s grab the young, provocatively dressed local woman’s hand. She laughs and flirts with him. They walk away together. God. I know what is happening. For money. God, when did we decide money was worth more than a person’s worth? How did we get here? When did we decide money could buy someone power?
Father,
My heart breaks. Is this what you feel everyday? It is too much God. Too much needless, useless pain and sin in the world. Now that I can see it, I sit here questioning my role. I see it all, the sin of this world…what do I do about it? I can’t save them all God. I don’t even know who needs to be saved. I don’t even know who wants or truly needs help.
I sit here just watching, taking it all in. I know because of the fall of the world there is and always will be sin, death, destruction, sickness and pain. I know it isn’t in my power to save all these people.
“They know nothing, they understand nothing. Their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see; and their minds are closed so they cannot understand” Isaiah 44:18
“Be Still and Know that I AM GOD.”
I will be still and move when You tell me to move. You’ve opened my eyes to the sin of this world and I will rest and wait with You.
Viv Update!
I am in month 5 of this race…CAMBODIA!! Can you believe I am almost halfway done?! I sure can’t! I am on a new team with my friends below.
Lene, Kevin, and Jackie!
We are a smaller team because we have been asked to be squad leaders. What the heck is a squad leader you ask? Our focus is unity and the overall emotional, spiritual, physical health of the squad. We spend time with our squad mates hearing their hearts and speaking life into each person walking along side everyone. This month we are getting training on all the nitty gritty details of what we’ve said yes to and next month we are moving on to Thailand!
I am still about $130 away from my final financial goal. I missed the deadline already but Adventures in Missions has granted me a grace period to try to get the last few donations. If you would like to financially support me being out here on the race, please do so!! Anything helps!
If your heart and wallet are EXTRA big, Aaron is still about $150 away from his final goal as well. Please donate at http://aaronshugars.theworldrace.org/
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for this big adventure!! I couldn’t do it without your help and encouragement.
