How much does God love us? A whole lot. We know this – or at least we hear it a lot. One way that He shows His love to us is through His faithfulness. I can’t accurately express what is in my heart at the moment: a sense of thankfulness and awe at how faithful He would be to one of His kids. Me. Just one of His daughters, and He is the same God for me as He is for T.D Jakes, Joyce Meyer, Steven Furtick, or Billy Graham when he was here on earth. The same faithfulness is for any one of His kids because it does not depend on the kid but on God’s character. And that doesn’t change for anyone, thank goodness.
This post is me reflecting on a time of God stepping in and discipling me and waking me up from my fear of failure and shrinking back from responsibility.
BUT God.
But God loves His children too much to let them live life like that, afraid of failing and ineffective.
I was sitting at the kitchen table when it all came to a realization in my heart. I felt like sitting beneath the table as my grandfather, grandmother, and my mom talked with me. I had been shrugging off a lot of my responsibility with fundraising and felt the full weight of the days I had wasted on my shoulders. I was embarrassed to admit it to the three people whose opinions I value the most. My heart was being exposed as well as the fears that were hidden there, and I didn’t like what I was finding. I knew that I wasn’t giving my best effort with fundraising, and I pridefully didn’t ask for help. Looking back on the semester as a whole, I realized that I had welcomed distraction for most of the semester. I had not done things well. The $5,000 dollar deadline was the next week, and I was about $600 away. As I talked with my grandparents, or ¨G and P¨ as I called them, I remember my grandfather saying that because the Lord had called me to Gap Year, He would be faithful to provide, but the question was did I want to be a part of His provision?
As I reflected on this I realized that I actually did not really know what I was doing or how to do it. I thought that I could just leave it in God’s hands and be okay. But the Lord isn’t about just changing the situation of things so much as changing us! He has so much He wants to teach us in the process and so much He wants to grow in us. Like the story of the woman with the little bit of oil and the great debt who asked Elisha what to do. He told her to gather jars from her neighbors and pour out her oil until she was out of jars to fill. She was a part of the process and was a witness to God’s faithfulness.
So humbly I am reflecting on this past week and how God brought me into His process. How faithful He has been as I have stepped out and been a part of it all. Also, how gently the Lord shook me awake. He quietly reminded me of what He was about, and He is about me looking like Him. I hadn’t been reflecting my Father. As I walked out of the kitchen area and on to the porch, I broke inside as I thought about how faithful God has been and also how much He loved me to discipline me. I made some calls to people to get back in touch with those I has sent letters to and several got back to me about donating as I reached out. As we move, the Lord moves even greater.
I titled this story “Ready Vessels” because the Lord wants His kids to be vessels that carry Him to others for He loves them that much as well. He wants vessels that are ready to be poured into. Are you ready to be filled? He is the one who makes us ready. All we have to do is yield.
