Caught : the only way out—into a net.

Caught—

 

Living with deep hearted pains, broken and hopeless, barely mustering the energy to get out of bed—trapped in my head. As I would wake up, my brain tumbled out of bad dreams into sad consciousness. Anxiety had a vice grip clinched down on me. I was physically immobile as my mind raced. Calling off work, cancelling plans, and unresponsive to notifications — I was unable to hold onto thoughts of Truth long enough to move in any direction but down.

 

The slow life explosion and spiritual tumble landed me in a mental pit. At the time, I did not notice the net which had already been cast and lay underneath it all. 

 

The net has been cast wide—As far as the east is from the west.

 

Through the process of healing, I am discovering that I am a creature who needs space. Not space from people, but rather, physical space. I crave wide open expanses to stretch out and move around. I want to open my arms wide and stretch out my legs. My heart is happy to scan the wide skyline of the beach or experience the free mobility of a walk in the woods. When I drive, I open the windows and sunroof—even when closed windows and air conditioning would be quieter and less chaotic. I love the warm open air. I love the freedom to be to be loud and mobile, to sing and dance, with my heart and body.

 

I’m thankful for the

 

w   i   d   e      n   e   t     o  f     g   r   a   c   e

 

 

which has been cast out, set by the Father to catch me. I need the space Jesus created to move around and navigate the healing process. God has not restrained me to a box. He opened a wide loving net to catch every piece of my heart, soul, and mind as they fell.

Now, that grace allows me the open expanse to ask honest questions about myself and my faith. Because he forgave me first, and cast the net, God gives me the secure cushioned netting to move around and discover myself again as I continue to heal and come back together—as the pieces of me reconcile together with him. This one-woman circus fell off the tightrope and now I have the space I need to forgive myself and ask God to forgive me. His net is wide and deep and I’m rejoicing in the expanse.

 

His heart is happy to see you whole, living in a relationship with Him. I welcome you to trust the freefall into the biggest net of freedom you could ever hope for.

 

Join me in this healing space. Pray for forgiveness and peace. Follow me as I travel from East to West. And please help me spread hope to others in the pit.

 

Psalm 103

¹Praise the Lord, my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

²Praise the Lord, my soul,

and forget not all his benefits—

³who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

⁴who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

⁵who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

 

⁶The Lord works righteousness

and justice for all the oppressed.

 

⁷He made known his ways to Moses,

his deeds to the people of Israel:

⁸The Lord is compassionate and gracious,

slow to anger, abounding in love.

⁹He will not always accuse,

nor will he harbor his anger forever;

¹⁰he does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities.

¹¹For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his love for those who fear him;

¹²as far as the east is from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

 

¹³As a father has compassion on his children,

so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

¹⁴for he knows how we are formed,

he remembers that we are dust.

¹⁵The life of mortals is like grass,

they flourish like a flower of the field;

¹⁶the wind blows over it and it is gone,

and its place remembers it no more.

¹⁷But from everlasting to everlasting

the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,

and his righteousness with their children’s children—

¹⁸with those who keep his covenant

and remember to obey his precepts.

 

¹⁹The Lord has established his throne in heaven,

and his kingdom rules over all.

 

²⁰Praise the Lord, you his angels,

you mighty ones who do his bidding,

who obey his word.

²¹Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,

you his servants who do his will.

²²Praise the Lord, all his works

everywhere in his dominion.

 

Praise the Lord, my soul.