I have been dreading having to write a blog, because it means that it’s over. It means that Month 2 in Kampong Thom, Cambodia is really over.
It means that God is done with this season of me in Cambodia. It means that I won’t hear someone sing me another song with so much love and joy evident in their voice.
It means that I can’t be that foreigner with the crazy dance moves. It means that I can’t play volleyball on Victory Court, a court that was named after me because I was able to bless them with a court.
It means that I can’t dance with the kids at Hope for Children, or teach them how to make fish faces. It means no more water fights at the well.
It means that I can’t take one more picture of those sweet smiles that made me melt or of the cows that roamed the village. It means that I can’t teach them English, while I learned Khmer.
It means that I can’t receive anymore flower bouquets, presents, or hugs from one of the sweetest Cambodians.
It means that I can’t pour Jesus in their lives through my actions, while they impacted my life and showed me how well Jesus loves. It means no more tuk tuk rides with my favorite boys. It means see you later, it means that I have to hear “I’ll wait for you to come back” or “I miss you forever.” It means that I can’t hug my brothers and sisters. It means that I have to rely on God and trust Him with His timing of my return more than ever before.
Don’t need too much talking without saying anything
All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing
Take me to your heart, take me to your soul
Give me your hand before I’m old
Show me what love is, haven’t got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true
“Take Me To Your Heart” – Michael Learns to Rock
Before this month I never even considered singing or dancing if someone was in a 20ft radius around me, but that has changed. Now I will dance if someone asks me too, and sometimes even sing to someone I barely knew. I have changed in so many ways this month, and I wouldn’t change it for anything.
This month was a month that I’ll never forget, a month that I learned who I am. It was a month that I truly felt free. February was a month of so much Jesus, that I was overwhelmed by the love. Whether I was playing with a few kids or laying in my hammock, God used me and God worked in me in ways that I didn’t think was possible for a Month 2 World Racer.
This month I had life poured into me from not just my team, but from each person I talked to, especially my three brothers – three handsome men of God who encouraged me, who loved me for me, who trusted me, and who served me. I saw God through each of them multiple times a day. Three people who taught me more than I could of ever asked for, they became a part of my story, they became a part of my life.
I was asked to sum up the month in one word, and I chose life-changing. It was a month that I could never take back, it was a month I could never pretend that it didn’t happen, it was a month that changed my life in so many ways. Although it was a month that I focused on ministry and friendships rather than my own team, it was still life changing. I built friendships with Cambodians that are going to last forever. God used each person at the Children’s Home, Wing’s Home, EMOD, Hope Church, and the villages to make this month life-changing.
Children’s Home – Where we stayed, had 28 children ranging from 3-17 years old, 3 helpers/managers, and a small family
Wing’s Home – High School Home
EMOD – Where we laugh English classes, and went to church every Saturday and Sunday night.
Hope Church – the church at the Children’s Home that we went to on Sunday mornings, and people from nearby came
Villages – we went to different villages four times a week and did ministry – games/songs/Bible stories
Some ways include:
1. I love Me. I can be who I am in Christ and that is all that matters. I can dance, I can sing, I can make funny or scary faces, I can laugh, I can joke, I can be free, I can be brave and it’s okay. I am worthy to be loved, I am worth so much more than I thought was possible, because I am God’s.
2. I am beautiful. I heard srassat (very beautiful) more times this month than I could ever count, and each time I heard God whisper, “You are beautiful because I made you.” I am a daughter of the King, and He made me beautiful. I am beautiful because He loves me, I am beautiful because He says I am. I am beautiful because God’s love, joy, peace, and presence flows out of me.
3. God loves so much more than I ever could. I poured so much love into each person this month, that I could see the love overflowing – but it was because of God’s love. God loves people more than my heart can, or will ever be able to. God is the only person that can satisfy our heart.
4. How to trust in God’s plan and promises. Learning to trust in God’s plan for my own life, learning to trust Him with my dreams. God promised me that I’ll be back in Cambodia, and now it is trusting in His timing even when I pray for sooner rather than later. God has a perfect plan for my life, in His perfect timing.
All in all, this month was life changing. This month was hard to leave because of how blessed I was, how much I learned, and each person who lives in Kampong Thom. I know that this is part of God’s plan, and that He has so much planned for the next 9 months, but I am also praying that my heart continues to be as open as I was this month all the next months of this journey. God is breaking my heart for what breaks His, it is beautiful yet heartbreaking at the same time.
Cambodia, thank you for being so good to me. Thank you for showing me how much our God loves. Until next time, 🙂
So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue to see you once again, my love.
Over seas from coast to coast
To find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green to see you once again, my love.
-My Love, Westlife
