If I had to sum up the past seven months in just a few words, I’d have to say life changing, challenging, heart breaking, and saturating.
It’s hard to put into words what God has been teaching me throughout these past seven months, so I have chosen seven of the most treasured lessons that I remind myself. In the chaos, or in the still I will remember.
- God answers our prayers in His timing.
For as long as I can remember I have been praying for God to “break my heart for what breaks Yours,” and He never answered it until the race. Rather than seeing someone with my own eyes, I see them how God sees. Rather than seeing a situation and seeing the bad, I see the good. God has given me His eyes to see how He sees.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.” Philippians 4:6
- No matter how far I run, or when there is no desire – He still pursues.
There are days when I just want to hide from God, and we all know that doesn’t work. Each and every day, I am reminded that even when I doubt, even when I fail, even when I don’t fully trust, even when it’s hard to love, He never fails to pursue. He will always love me. I am learning to never take this for granted; my Father will choose me each day. Even when I don’t desire to be in His presence, He desires me and will pursue me until I desire Him more than my breath.
“I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!” Psalm 138:7
- “You love them, and you leave them.”
I heard this from a ministry contact and it is perfect, because that is what happens every month. You love each person you see, and leave them after just three weeks. Since Month 1 in Thailand I have dreaded the “see you later,” and it only gets harder, because I am reminded of the previous.
Although each one is hard, God has been reminding me that although I leave, He never leaves. I always hear Him whisper, “Yes, but don’t ever forget I love unconditionally and will never leave them.”
“The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.” Lamentations 3:22
- The only person that can love me unconditionally is my Father.
I have been realizing more and more these past seven months that I was finding my identity and worth through people; that the compliments, the relationships would be greater value. Although I knew that God’s love is unconditional, consuming, and never changing it wasn’t the first thing that I was seeking. I began praying for God to saturate my life, to give me the desire to only seek Him, a desire that only he can satisfy.
“For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” Psalm 107:9
- The safest place for me is in my Father’s hands.
Regardless of where I am – whether I am at home in America, in a slum, or in a jungle, I am not as safe as I could be. I am safe because my Father’s hands are wrapped around me, protecting me. Not only am I physically safe in my Father’s hands, but I am also spiritually and emotionally safe. God has continued to mold me into the woman of the King that He desires me to be, although it has been challenging, I still feel safe. I long to be in my Father’s hands, every day.
“And yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We are all formed by your hand.” Isaiah 64:8
- Wherever God’s presence is, I am home.
I’d always say that my home is in Illinois, but because of the power of God’s love and His overwhelming presence I have never felt more at home than I have on the race. My home could be in Illinois, Asia, Africa, or even some place I have never been, because I know one thing – wherever I am, I will be home, because I’m in my Father’s presence.
“This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” Psalm 91:2
- Even when I don’t understand, I will still praise Him.
My famous questions are, “Why me?” “Why this or why that?” “Why would you allow that to happen to me?” But a friend reminded me, “Why not me?” That I should be thankful that God desires to pull, pick, and stretch me, because I am growing more in my faith, trust, and who I am in Him. That even when it is hard I will still praise Him, because He deserves it. He loves me enough to see past the sins and mistakes, but instead He sees His beautiful daughter. He desires me to be more like Him. So instead of complaining and asking “why” I will say, “Thank you for loving me. I will praise you in this storm.”
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28
