Coming into this month in India, I was overloaded with negativity and bitterness. The first four months of the race (I still cannot believe we are in month 5!) was challenging to say the least. I have mentioned before my struggle with not feeling like I was doing enough. I felt as if I was wasting my time, if you remember. So when team changes recently happened before hopping a flight to India, I was anything but joyful, yet again.
Fast forward a few weeks, and here I sit in Hyderabad, India serving and loving on the local people. Every day the neighborhood children from the slums come by to say hello, and jump on us, and ask us repeatedly for our names or to spin them around. We will have all night worship sessions with the ‘brothers’ and we’ll dance with joy overflowing despite the heat of the room. There are some days when we’ll take a leisurely walk down the road and grab a coconut. The salesman or woman will hack off the top with a machete, so graceful in their action, and stick a straw in for us to get every last drop. We visited a market and watched as gorgeous women effortlessly stroked mehndi, or henna as we know it, all over our hands. We struggle our way through spicy curry, being careful to use only our right hand. And little by little our place, which was once overwhelming with its ants and bucket showers and no way to cook, has become like a home. Little by little, India has become home…for the month that is.
Now what I have just said is every bit of the truth, but it’s not the whole truth. That’s often how it is in ministry, isn’t it? We rarely hear the hard things, but always ready to share the good and the glamorous. The whole truth is that I have struggled once again with feeling like I’m not doing quite enough. Like my time could be better spent “elsewhere.” Isn’t that a bad thing to think? Isn’t it terrible to look at other teams or other people across the globe and think they’re doing so many awesome things, and to be jealous?
Then inch-by-inch, Jesus has been teaching me to find the glamour in the unglamorous. I’ve been learning that every single situation God places me in, despite what I may think, is exactly where I am supposed to be. While it may be frustrating or hard at times, I’m learning that I don’t have it all figured out. God knows exactly what He’s doing, and He doesn’t need my bad attitude to get in the way of that.
“…the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world—just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and truly understood God’s grace.”
Colossians 1:6
Did you catch that? The gospel has been bearing fruit and GROWING throughout the entire world, without any help from me! It doesn’t matter if I’m serving food instead of praying over people. It doesn’t matter if I’m cutting vegetables instead of watching people experience healing. It doesn’t have to be a big, elaborate thing. It’s all about Jesus. Always. Miracles can happen, and God can move anywhere. Anytime. What matters, now and forevermore, is that the gospel of Jesus Christ is being lived out through me. What matters is that I do have a good attitude, and a loving heart, and eyes that see where He wants me to serve.
And so I’ll serve: we are working with the Covenant School of Worship in Hyderabad this month. The vast majority of the believers being ‘brothers’ and only one sister in the school, it has been a challenge to work with them in a culture that doesn’t quite care for mixed gender interaction. Once we got past that awkwardness however, and trying to not show our ankles (because here, that would be quite the scandal), we’ve been able to make true connections with our ‘brothers’ in Christ. What can I say about them? They are eager to learn, passionate in worship, joyful always. They love each other so well, and serve one another at the drop of a hat. They are beyond respectful and honoring of us women on the team as their sisters. They are sweet natured, and a perfect display of Jesus always. I have even been able to practice my counseling skills with one of the brothers here, which has been a true privilege. This opportunity, I believe, was none other than Jesus reassuring me of His great plans. I never would have thought I would have the chance to officially counsel someone while on the race. It has been an honor to serve and work with our brothers here.
So here I am. Sitting in Hyderabad, India and I’m changing the way I think. Well, Jesus is changing me. I hear the honking of cars and the endless chatter in the language of Telegu, and I am reminded to seek God in the chaos. I walk the streets lined with garbage and men stumbling from the indulgence of the previous night, and I am reminded of God’s yearning for all of us humans living in our mess. Honestly, as I squat over a hole in the ground, ants crawling around my feet, I’m truly thankful for our tiny ‘home.’ You see, it’s not all about the Instagram picture that describes a brief snippet of our day. What it’s about is finding the glamour in the simple parts of this life, because that’s where Jesus is. He’s always been right there, kneeling down in our mess, ready to show us delight in the unglamorous details of the every day.
So here’s to India: may she continue to bring on the sweat, and the bugs, and the spiritual warfare that haunts—because it’s right in the unspectacular, understated, discreet parts of the day that I find God’s infinite beauty and grace.
[I still need to raise about $3,500 in order to stay on this wild journey. If you’d like to help me financially feel free to shoot me an email at [email protected] or you can simply click the “Support Me” link on the left! Thank you all for your continued prayers and support, it is so very much appreciated!]
xoxo
