Why did I decide to go on the World Race? Here's the thing: almost two years ago when I first heard about the World Race I thought, "Wow, what an adventure," and I thought that was the end of it. I didn't expect to wake up every day thinking about that adventure. I didn't expect to want to log on every day and read every blog update I could find. I didn't expect my heart to race with anticipation and wonderment.
That was just it: I didn't expect God to move.
And boy, was He moving in my heart. He was laying out His plan, showing me the path to take. I had been praying for something like this for so long! However (and don't you just hate the word 'however,' it's almost as if it's mocking you), I was selfish as usual.
"I can't do this. I need to continue my education. I can't leave my family for that long. I would miss my best friend's wedding. Big shocker, how could I say goodbye to my dog?" 🙂 These were the things that were holding me back. Don't get me wrong, these are important, precious things in my life. But they were about me.
So here I am with a God-given heart for the nations, a divine feeling that I have been called to the World race, and a promise from my heavenly Father to dance with Him as I serve OTHERS. Others…Him…not me. Not me. Not me. So what was I waiting for??
I made a decision. I made the decision to follow Jesus, no matter what. No matter what. That means I must die to myself every day.
Mark 8:34-35 tells us, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it."
So here I am, laying myself down. I have a death wish alright, and I pray that I die to myself every day. I pray that I lose my life for Him. I pray that my old life is lost and it no longer looks like what I hoped for, but what He planned for. So I prayed. I applied. I prayed. I sought confirmation. I prayed. I'm doing this. Whoa. I'm praying…
Next time my fears come bubbling up
Next time I sit in bed and think, "What have I gotten myself into?"
Next time I start to cry thinking of what I'll miss while I'm gone
I'll remember that I have a death wish. I'll remember what the Message says in Matthew 10:38-39 "If you don't go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don't deserve me. If your first concern is yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me."
So this is it: come July 2014 I will be embarking upon another year of romance with the King of kings. I will serve in His name, I will laugh uncontrollably, I will make new friends, I will learn, I will grow, I will love others, I will expect God to move. I am expecting God to move. I'm not making that mistake again.
Future squad and team members: I'm praying for you.
My family and friends: I'm praying for you.
Albania, Turkey, Bulgaria, Romania, South Africa, Swaziland, Botswana, India, Nepal, Mongolia, and China: I'm praying for you.
And for those of you reading this: first of all you're a trooper. This was long, and I'm not much of a writer. Secondly, I'm praying for you too. You are loved, and I am honored to help represent you and the church in this journey. Finally, please pray for me! Man I need it; I need a prayer ARMY.
If you would like to help support me financially you can click on the link on the left that says, "Support Me!" Simple enough, right?
Expect Him to move today.
Oh, how He loves us!
