Training camp happened! I am still processing all that happened within those 10 days. I am thankful for each moment, conversation, frustration and session because I was able to learn so much from each. Instead of trying to sum up all that happened, I am going to share with you one main takeaway.
During these 10 days in Georgia with August heat and humidity, I felt more connected to the Lord than I have in a long time (if not ever). I also have never felt more disconnected from the outside world which includes family, friends and the comforts of home. A feeling of both disconnect and connect can really mess with a person’s mind or it can center a person.
The feeling of disconnect is due to being somewhere completely different, truly knowing no one, camping out for 10 days and not having my cell phone on. At first I was worried about not having my phone in case something happened but slowly over the first full day I realized that I did not even miss it! It felt so freeing to be able to go about my day and fully focus on my time within training camp. I am not going to lie, there were times that all I wanted to do was text my family or check up on what people were doing. Those thoughts only lasted so long due to exhaustion but also due to the fact that I have never felt the Lord so clearly speak to me. This leads to how I have never felt so connected to the Lord.
I felt that the Lord centered me on what He has led me too. Being out of my comfort zone physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally led me to having to start fully depending on HIM. I am starting to realize that I truly cannot do anything on my own. I can truly only do anything through HIM. There were times when I was exhausted and wanted to do nothing but fall asleep but then someone or something would remind me that I can only do this through HIM.
One example of when this realization starting happening was during one of the amazing worship sessions. I was feeling so apprehensive about everything that was happening around me. I did not see a single familiar face and felt so alone. Then I began to praying not knowing what else to do. This was the first time that I heard the Lord’s voice clearly. He kept saying “Trust me daughter. I will provide.” I kept hearing this over and over. There was this calm and peace that washed over me. It was like nothing that I had ever experienced before. It was then that I opened my eyes with a renewed spirit and a heart open to worship my true Father. Not soon after that I was prayed over with a vision. Once again this was a first time experience also! This woman said as she was praying for me she saw an image of a child running into her father’s arms in an open field saying “I’m coming home daddy.” This is exactly how I felt after that night. I am coming home Father!
There are rough waters ahead for me before I leave for the World Race. There are many goodbyes and see you laters that are ahead, paperwork, vaccinations, transitioning and preparation. BUT I have the comfort of knowing that I am not doing this alone. My Heavenly Father is the one who is leading me through all of this and beyond. He is the only one that I can truly hold onto during this time. I do ask for your prayers during this upcoming time of transitions because I know that it will be hard but that is ok. I will not deny any longer how hard this is for me. I do not want to leave Pittsburgh, my friends, and my family. There will be tears, many hugs, and last memories. They will be all worth it in the end because I am trusting in the Lord during this transition into the next step.
There was a song lyric that I have repeated many times during training camp and it is one that I am reflecting and holding onto. “From the head to the heart, you take me on a journey of letting go and getting lost in you.” He is currently taking me on this journey. Thank you Lord for a feeling of both disconnect with the world and connection with you. I am coming home Father!
