Nothing quite like getting baptized during typhoon season in Vietnam…
Yesterday. I still can’t believe that it happened. I cannot help but smile and giggle when I think about what happened. There is this new bounce in my walk and shoulders. Now I am not saying that everything is perfect BUT there is this feeling of renewal in my life.
The gears started turning in India when our squad received our first journey marker (which is a topic that we are given to discuss with our teams) and the first word I read is baptism. I immediately skim past all the reading and just dive into the questions to get it over with. My philosophy was that I was baptized as a baby which meant that I had no need to read this! However as my team began to discuss the questions, I had this unique desire to pursue this subject and idea more. There was something about it that was drawing me in.
Month 1 came and went without much more thought about it.
Month 2 held quite a bit of growth and transformation within myself. The soul care that I did was eye opening and one of the most healing experiences that I have ever had. I had a few thoughts about baptism but it was more in the way that it would pass during a casual conversation.
Month 3 hit. Like a typhoon.
This past month has had its ups and downs. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around all that has happened. My team and I have had our moments of conflict, laughter, sorrow and joy. I wouldn’t trade this past month for anything though because I believe that the Lord has taught me something HUGE even though I might not fully see it yet. As this month went on and on I could not shake the thoughts of baptism.
About one week into our time here my teammate Katelyn decided to have us jump into the ocean together to represent how she felt God has been speaking to her. It was so much fun! I felt a tug towards the word baptism before we headed out but then something held me back. I wanted it be more formal and on a more serious note so I held off that morning. It was later on that day that I messaged my squad leader asking her when she was free next week…
I prayed, prayed and prayed about it. I did not hear any direct conformation in words from the Lord BUT there is this overwhelming feeling of peace about my decision. When my squad leader Liz came to visit I nervously asked her to do the honors and the smile she gave me was answer enough to my question. She said that she has not baptized someone before and would be honored. Things were really starting to fall into place!
This week rolls around and I feel this new desire to wake up in the morning to have my quiet time with the Lord. To be honest I have not had this all month but there was something different. I read more and more about baptism and the more I read the more I felt that this was the right next step in my journey with the Lord.
Yesterday.
I wake up and not even a few minutes after looking at my phone, I open my eyes and realize that today is the day! I immediately sit up, grab my bible and dive into what I have been reading about baptism. I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me. I have been closed off to this idea for so long because I figured I would never need to do it as an adult. Oh, how I was wrong.
My teammates Skate and Katelyn soon come bounding into my room with an excitement that I have not seen in a long time and I couldn’t help but get pumped!
After a morning of Facetiming, catching up on notes and to do lists I hear two of my squad leaders walk in….it is about to start!
We walk down to the beach with a slight drizzle laughing and smiling. Then I see the waves. I almost turn back until my teammates grab my arm and encourage me along. Now mind you, these waves are freakin huge! We pray as a group and then Liz holds my hand as we walk into the ocean. After running from the waves a few times due to fear Liz instructs me to kneel down and cross my hands over my chest.
With my team/church/family surrounding me Liz baptized me in the Pacific Ocean during typhoon season.
I walked out of that ocean with a huge smile on my face and thankful for what this act represented. My life has been in a transformation over the past year and a half. Then the race has happened and I never realized how many lies I was believing about myself. I have been hiding in a cave and I am now holding onto the Father’s hand as I begin walking into a sunlit field of wildflowers. I don’t want to hold onto those lies anymore but rather hold onto and soak in the truths that the my Father has for me.
From that first journey marker – “Going public meant abandoning the ways you had defined yourself that were not really you – the false self. Our false self is a mask we put forward in our interactions with others to get the validation, affirmation and attention that we crave. We design our false self to be more funny, more interested in others, more interesting, more socially capable, more bold, more normal (or sometimes more abnormal). These exaggerations are not reality, but we cling to them so persistently that we eventually start to believe the lie.”
“Through baptism we are united with Jesus. No longer do we need to depend on what we can do or what others think of us; now, our identity and worth rests in our Savior. We have died to this world and are alive to new life in the spirit. We are free to begin the process of rediscovering our true self. “
These are the statements that I clung to before and after my baptism and I am looking forward to what 2017 and the years ahead have in store. Life is not easy following the Lord. It was like walking into the ocean yesterday. It looked like fun and have this new found desire to tackle anything that comes in your path BUT then wave after wave hits. I am realizing with each wave that I need to cling more and more to my heavenly Father. I encourage you to do the same. No matter what wave comes at you cling to Him. He wants us running to Him.
The smile and joy still have not left my face from yesterday.
