Driving into Jacó, Costa Rica was a bit like a dream. I’ve been to Costa Rica in the past, but the immense rainforest, majestic mountains, and breath-taking beaches quickly sucked me in once again. I was in awe of the Creator and all His creation.
Our team, Unsilenced, and Sculptor’s 7 pulled up to “La Ola”, the Christian Surfers property. We were within two blocks of the gorgeous beach and the busyness of downtown. The property was lush, tropical, and covered in colorful murals of sea life. I was reminded of home by the classic ocean décor, but noted the barbed wire around the perimeter of the wall.
The first week we slowly waded into ministry. It wasn’t what I envisioned. I had an expectation that there was going to be a crazy moment where an epiphany came over me, “This is IT! We are DOING the World Race!” That moment never came. Rather, we stepped into a new city, new culture, and just a new way of doing life—being led by the Spirit daily and forming relationships with those we meet.
After a few days into our arrival the buzz got around the church that another World Race group was in town. It seemed as though almost every night we had a new “surprise” from a member of the church, our host, or a local friend. Surf lessons, dinners, pool time, a resort, monkey feedings, and ice cream—you name it! We were completely showered with gifts and quality time. At one point, we were overlooking the Pacific Ocean at sunset with chocolate cake and ice cream in hand. I could hardly believe our surroundings.
And I felt… absolutely miserable. Guilt flowed in and out of my heart. We can’t tell the other teams! We have been given too much! We haven’t even done much of anything yet! We just got here! As far as I was concerned, we had yet to earn all these gifts. We didn’t deserve this. Or maybe God is just using these people to bless us because He knows something horrible will happen soon. My thoughts were not filled with truth.
Our host assured us that all these people really wanted to bless us. They were acting out generosity, kindness, and love. They wanted to share all they had and open their homes to their brothers and sisters in Christ. I just didn’t understand. No matter how many teammates imparted words of assurance and encouragement, I just couldn’t get over it. We just haven’t earned this. We don’t deserve it.
“Victoria, that’s not how God works though.” Those were all the words Luke had to say to challenge my way of thinking. I never thought my reaction to these humans might translate over to the way I interact with God. Now, my wheels were turning and wouldn’t shut off.
My entire life I’ve heard that we cannot earn God’s love. I knew it, or I thought I did. I’ve told it to tons of people in my life. We already have God’s love. His love is unconditional and unfathomable. “God’s love never fails.” (Psalm 136) “We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19) See? I know this stuff. Don’t I?
Rain hammered on the tin roof of the rancho while I stared up at the ceiling, wide-awake, lying in my hammock. My teammates had fallen asleep hours ago and I was reflecting over my life. There have been many times I was acting out of a way to earn God’s love and blessings. Since I know we are sinners who don’t deserve His love, I sometimes try to give Him my best in hopes that His love will somehow be earned. This is a way of trying to take back control and a lack of trust that God’s love will never fail, no matter how undeserved.
“All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.” – Isaiah 64:6
Over and over I try to work from my own strengths. I lift up my “righteous acts” and say, “Here, Lord! Look at all that I have accomplished. Now I can feel better about You giving out Your love that I don’t deserve!” This is not how our Father wishes for His children to react.
“But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 8:5
“In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” – 1 John 4:9-11
Do we deserve God’s love? No.
Did we, or can we ever, do anything to deserve His love? No.
Does He love us in a way that we cannot understand? Yes.
Will His love ever fail? No.
So then, how should we respond to the Greatest Love man can ever know?
Accept it. God chooses to love us, no matter what the cost. Be willing to accept His gracious gift with humility and thanksgiving.
Trust Him. Stop trying to take matters into our own hands. Believe that when the God of the Universe says He will “never leave nor forsake you”, that He means it (Deuteronomy 31:6).
Share it. 1 John 4:11 spells it right out: “love one another” because God so loved us. Remember to “do everything in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14) when we interact with others through words and actions.
Be Grateful. “Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!” (Psalm 106:1)
No, our teams did not “deserve” the gifts and love from our new friends. We weren’t expected to repay them or earn their blessings. They desired to give and act out loving others because God first loved them—no strings attached.
Despite the initial turmoil I was feeling, God taught me an incredibly valuable lesson. He opened my eyes and heart to a part of our relationship that was destructive due to my blindness. He spoke truth over me. He spoke love over me. I can rest in knowing full well that I do not need to earn God’s love. He loved me before the world began. And nothing, absolutely nothing, can ever change that.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” – James 1:17
