It’s time to Let Go and Let God. Fundraising is so hard for me…
God has put it on my heart that I am supposed to let Him raise this money for me. I am very quick to say that I don’t need help- especially when I do.
I don’t really know what to say other than this: I trust God to follow through on His promises.
I have no idea HOW He’s going to make the money happen, but I trust that He will. Tadaa! And now I’m fully funded! ….I wish it was that easy. The hard part about letting God do this is letting go of my “control” over the situation. Today I laugh as I type out the world “control”- it’s a little joke between me and God. I’ve always wanted to be this perfect superhero that swoops in, saves the day, and always has everything figured out. I always want to be at least one step ahead of everyone else. I always want to know what’s going on. I always want to be at the head of my life…in perfect control. The thing about perfect though is that IT IS NOT POSSIBLE. Perfection is unattainable. It’s not going to happen for you and it’s CERTAINLY not going to happen for me. If I’m perfect, then I don’t need saving and thus I don’t need a Savior.
God has been pointing out to me in not-so-subtle ways that I have gone as far as I can go on my own. It’s time for me to let go of my control and let daddy do it. It’s ironic really. The harder I’ve tried to save myself, the more damage I’ve actually done. I’ve gotten hurt so many times that my heart started to go numb. How did I try to fix that? I just threw a ton of mental band-aids over that sucker and pressed on. Not-so-fun fact: that approach doesn’t work and actually makes it worse. Long story short, I’ve finally gotten over myself (what little pride I had left got kicked to the curb). I have completely and totally in every way I know how surrendered control over my life to God. How does one do this? That’s a good question. I don’t know. The way I did it though involved a good amount of crying, intense prayer-sessions, lots of support from good friends (new and old), worshiping God in every way I know how, and finally taking the steps required to center my life around chasing God.
God has let me know that the only control I should have right now is over what stays in my life and what goes. Thanks to a wise set of spiritually adopted parents, I’ve got a healthy outline of what should and should not make the cut. This whole process started with what I listen to. I accepted a challenge to only listen to Godly music until I leave for my trip and in one week’s time it has already started to change the way I carry myself every day.
It’s odd- I thought my “come to Jesus” moment happened when I took control by applying to the World Race when in reality, it happened when I let go of control. Don’t get me wrong- I definitely felt like God was calling me to apply! At the time though, I saw that step as me getting control again- I didn’t see it as finally listening to and obeying God.
I seriously considered putting a link to Frozen’s Let It Go song in here but I fought the urge. Instead, I will end with this: In order for me to “let go and let God”, I have to trust Him with my everything. It’s uncommon for me to struggle with faith so this isn’t the hardest step. The hardest step is showing through my life that I trust in Him to lead me. So I am listening very closely for Him and obeying everything He tells me….which *shudder* means that I have to spend LESS time at work and MORE time fundraising/putting it in His hands. Prayer is welcomed and much appreciated. Thank you =o)
Until next blog,
*throws arms up and dances around the room*….LET IT GO! LET IT GO! I CAN’T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE!! *phew* sorry…I just couldn’t resist.
~ Vashti W.
