I don’t know what God is doing in my life. Can I get an amen?
As willing as I am to do it, I admit that sometimes, I am afraid to follow someone that I can’t physically see.
I find myself torn between two mindsets: knowing that following God is right and wanting to do life my own way.
When I have days like this where I am doubting God or His plan for my life in any way, I force myself to think about a few things. One: What has always happened when I branch off and try to “do” life the way I want to? Answer: NOTHING GOOD. Of course I’m “happy” for a little while. Who doesn’t enjoy indulging in everything their “skin-self” wants at first? If any of you are anything like me though, you can testify that the worldly activities (the wants, the urges, the “needs”) just don’t satisfy the way God does.
It doesn’t take long before all that’s left of me is an empty shell floating in the mainstream from one self-glorifying pretentious activity to the next. I would find myself surrounded by “friends” partaking in the communal numbness until we would all pass out and do it again the next day. Who out there is truly happy working a job until the next time they can go out and party? I’ll tell you this much: I cannot live that way.
The way God satisfies me is amazing. When I am close to Him and I can sense His presence, it’s like nothing else in the world matters. I feel an overwhelming joy building up inside of me and images of everything God has done for me in the past and what He plans to do through me in the future start to flash before my eyes. I become consumed by hope, excitement, love, and peace. My surroundings seem to melt away and all I want is to dive into God’s wonderful plan for me.
There is no doubting this: my spirit yearns for God on a daily basis. There is something in me that desperately needs to see, feel, and follow Him. I am utterly and painfully incomplete and empty without Him. Therefore, my choice is easy! I’ll borrow a line from Terminator to get my point across- Picture this:
There are explosions everywhere, fire is blazing behind and to the sides of me, I’m at the top of a mountain that is crumbling beneath my feet, and BOOM!! In flies Jesus on a helicopter. He’s got an arm stretched out and He stares right into my eyes and says quietly, “Come with me if you want to live.”
I’d like to think that’s how the disciples saw it go down when He told them to drop their nets and follow Him…
I rest assured that especially on days like this one when I am:
1.) Weighed down by apathy and,
2.) I am doubting everything
…that God is dedicated to fighting for me just as furiously as He does every other day. I see the battle scene a little like this:
All I need now is an anthem….Oh look! A link to an anthem! What a coincidence ;P We Are The Brave by Veridia (my anthem) I stumbled upon the band today and everything they had to offer was exactly what I needed to hear. I highly recommend giving them a listen =o)
Keep on fighting to hold onto everything God has given you. It’s worth it to fight for His team. Don’t let the Devil steal your God-given joy. We don’t take kindly to thieves ’round these parts. Look it up in Revelation, people! We’ve already won. Stand tall in God and whatever you do, don’t give up the fight. You’re stronger than you think.
Peace Out My Peoples,
~ Vashti W.
