Training camp for me was a test. As excited as I was, about potentially going on such an amazing mission trip, another reason I was intrigued by the world race was because I saw it as an opportunity to grow in my intimacy with the Lord. I hadn’t really thought about being uncomfortable, I just knew I wanted to grow and an 11 month mission trip seemed like something that would help me in that area. So I figured training camp would be the perfect test. If I like it, I’ll go. If I don’t, I won’t. Simply put!
Unfortunately though, after my first day back from training camp I was confused. After all I both hated and loved it.
Why I hated it (In no particular order )
1. I’m from NYC I don’t do camping ! (DISCLAIMER: There are city dwellers who enjoy camping, however, I’m not one of them.) Prior to training camp the first time I went camping, ever, was literally 1 month before and that included warm showers and a tent you can stand up in. …unfortunately I can’t say I had a warm shower and my 2 person tent would not allow me to stand
2. Sometimes I wanted to be alone and I couldn’t do so without looking like the anti social mean girl.
3. It was soooo cold!! Who would’ve thought Georgia saw 30 degree temperatures at night, in October. Certainly not me!
4. I felt lonely and missed my family and friends.
I honestly caught myself a few times drifting off in thought about how much fun I would have if only I could convince a few friends/family to come along.
Why I loved it
1. It felt like God was all over that place! We had the pleaser of being taught by the most amazing staff. Each speaker had their own powerful testimony and though they may have had flawed pasts you could see and feel that they had been renewed and that every word they spoke was spirit filled. It was amazing and I found myself inspired by the fact that they had so much to give and they never seemed to run out!
2. I felt better prepared mentally
If you read a few blogs, watch a few vlogs and look at a few pictures of those on the race, you can easily forget that the race is not all fun and games. At training camp, when you realize you haven’t used a napkin in a few days, when you realize you haven’t seen an actual bathroom in a while, when you realize that you will be living in community most of the time , if not all, and you can no longer come first, these are little slices of reality that mentally prepare you for the real thing.
3. I loved the energy. It was amazing to be around young people raging from the ages of 21-35 who love God, love missions, have a desire to grow and belive in having a good time while doing it
4. After training camp I had a better sense of what the world race is about
For some reason though, while I had an amazing experience I still couldn’t shake off the new feelings of wanting to quit. To make matters worse it’s like I had a memory lapse. All the things I thought I liked about training camp I suddenly couldn’t recall and it felt like I could only remember the negative. Fear started creeping up over me and I could only think to myself, will I get along with everyone on my squad? What if I get sick? Is going on this trip something God really wants me to do? Should I really resign from my job for this? Can I really be helpful if I don’t know the language?
I was headed down a downward spiral of negativity and with each new fear I was moving closer and closer to quitting. Fortunately, in the midst of my fear I suddenly realized that I needed to pray about this. After all this is a major decision why try to figure it out alone. So, I did jus that. I prayed about it and asked my parents and a few friends/family to pray too.
Did I get an instant response? No, but it was still pretty quick becuase literally by the next morning I felt a peace come over me. It was during that time God reminded me that this is not about me. He’s inviting me on a journey with him and I need only to let him use me. If it’s my desire to grow closer to God, part of that includes trust. God already knows I won’t be able to handle the race on my own. All I have to do is give my fears to him. Suddenly I felt a weight lifted off of me. I don’t have to know everything and I don’t have to be perfect. This is God’s Work, he’s got it and he’ll enable and equip me!
So I had a decision to make. A- Trust God and watch him do exceedingly, above all I could ask or think or B- Follow my fears, stay comfortable or worse yet, complacent? It’s a no brainer, I went with the former. World race here I come! !
