Here I am 26 days away from my first flight to Columbia reflecting on the purpose of the last four months after my initial departure from August was deferred. Honestly, I cannot imagine having left not knowing what God has imparted during this time.
Whether it’s through that loud, talkative friend who shares every unnecessary detail while storytelling or that grumpy, elderly woman desperate for freedom from the weight of guilt of her long life’s choices. Through the gentle-spirited man who has made a home out of a tent in the nearby woods or the uninhibited and innocent little girl who has come to the realization of the princess she is the moment she first hears the sound of her new toy heels as they tinker along the tile floor. He has shown me the magnitude of his love for his people and how necessary it is to search for the value in each of us even through the differences that I may have yet to understand.
While we’re each in a different place in our journey, neither holds more value than another and each of us have an irreplaceable position and purpose in the kingdom of God. He has revealed how uniquely overwhelming and unconditional his love is for us individually. So much so that he has this unexplainable way of making us all feel like one of his favorites while still exemplifying his zeal and delight in us collectively. (Although, I still think I am one of his faves 
)
The lesson for me is not just to love people throughout my life but to purposefully love with my entire life… that a birds eye view of my life as a whole should reflect the love of Christ and that it WILL NOT look the same for everyone.
Much of my life I imagined that a life abandoned to Christ must look like a graceful, soft-spoken, no makeup wearing, hippy who wore Birkenstocks. While there’s beauty in her, it’s far from who I am. I’m loud and I have a tendency to speak before thinking more often than not. I prefer things that sparkle and depending on which mood I wake up in, I love to wear makeup. I enjoy belly laughs on the regular, dancing just because and I have less patience than I would like to admit. There are countless instances when I pay way too much attention to details that others will never notice and I have a taste for things well beyond my current tax bracket.
Because I held on to this idea of who I thought I was supposed to be, I was standing in the way of what God was trying to do in and through me. I had to learn that there is no personality, lifestyle or and/or string of poor decisions that He can’t permeate, transform or redirect for His glory and for one to doubt it would only negate his sovereignty. Who am I to think my personality, upbringing, bad decisions or inabilities were big enough to disqualify the divine plan that the Creator of the universe had for me once I made a decision to surrender my life to him?! Thankfully, he has used this time to increase my faith and open my eyes not only to His expectations of me but his desire for his people. He has shown me His desire to transcend the walls of culture, religious traditions, denominations, race and socio-economic class in the body of Christ.
I’m looking forward to being a part of a group of people who do life together by growing in the supernatural love of Christ with an understanding that their obvious differences and gifts are not a subject for comparison or division but rather an integral and necessary tool of the church body for the greatest purpose. A body of like-minded individuals who look past the quirks, religious traditions, race and socio-economic differences and instead, focus on the unique and irreplaceable value in each other in order to grow in unity while pressing forward to glorify our heavenly Father in furthering the kingdom of God by choosing to love with our lives. I am excited about what will transpire in the next 11 months. I am confident he will be removing the barriers I’ve placed between He and I due to my perception of Him and break out of the box I’ve kept Him in for far too long! Here’s to freedom, unity and the process of unapologetically becoming who He created me to be and the church as a whole becoming the spotless bride He’s returning for!
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” John 4:7-8
**If you feel led to support me, please pray for my trip and consider donating. As we are only 26 days from departure, I am still $4,361 away from my next deadline on January 12th.
