Elizabeth and I cheated and did our homework together. J A couple hours, dirty feet and a search party
later, our goal was accomplished. We
talked about our thoughts on getting lost as we traipsed through rice fields
and backyards. I wonder what your
thoughts were? Maybe….
-What’s the purpose of this if there’s no destination? It’s just a waste of time and money.
-This could be dangerous.
-I’m too busy. I’d
have to free up my schedule and drop my plans.
-I feel silly. People
aren’t gonna understand…they’re gonna think I’m crazy, immature and
irresponsible.
-What if I can’t find my way back? Or if I get so lost that no one can find me?
-This goes against all logic and reason.
-I would be completely out of control, stepping into a world
of unknowns and ‘what if’s.
In not so many words, FEAR and CONTROL.
Chances are, if you actually made it past the excuses and
set out to get lost, you still probably maintained SOME level of control. You gave yourself a time limit, since you had
somewhere to be later. You had a map or
a GPS in the car to find your way back if necessary. Or you took your phone with you…just in
case.
Imagine what it would have been like if we reeeeally got
lost. Like, left everything behind and
went for it. No safety nets. No back-up plans. No boundaries.
Even with mine and Elizabeth’s time constraints, small
village, cell phones and all…here are some words to describe our time getting
lost:
Adventure
Childlike
Life
Wonder
Awe
Freedom
Different
Newness
Exploring
Carefree
Thrill
Exhilerating
Simple
And to use even fewer words, TRUST….SURRENDER….FAITH.
So, let me bring this home, to where I’m at. Maybe I’m the only one…but I doubt it.
Anybody else get preoccupied with yourself sometimes?
You know…stressing over the next step…wondering about God’s
plan for your life…dwelling on your own personal growth or lack of it…allowing
others’ perception of you dictate your actions…waiting on God to do something
for you or give something to you…replaying your successes or failures…
A lot of times, the “I”s, “My”s and “Me”s in my prayers far
outnumber the “You”s and “Your”s.
So last week I was pretty anxious about my future. Sat down to try to blog and couldn’t do
it. All I wanted to do was sing and
pray. So, I went into my room, shut the
door, and not long after I began to sing, the Lord spoke. Another one of those perspective-shifting,
eye-opening, life-changing kairos moments….
“GET LOST IN ME.
So lost you can’t find your way back.
Lose yourself in Me.
Forget yourself.
Let yourself die.
Complete surrender.
Trust Me.
Let go.
Me in you. You in
Me. Is enough.”
Here’s the vision I saw as I was hearing that:
I was in a corn maze, surrounded by endless rows of corn on
all sides. When suddenly, I left the
path and began running through the sea of corn stalks, darting from side to
side, trying to get lost…wide-eyed with excitement and wonder, giddy with
joy. I kept going and going and
going. The path I was originally on grew
up, to where I couldn’t find my way back to it if I tried. And I couldn’t have cared less…I’d already
forgotten about the path because I was so captivated and consumed with where I
was and where I was going.
So now, post-chat with the Lord, where am I?
I’m tired of being god of my life. I make a lousy one. Tired of being consumed with myself. Tired of always maintaining control. Tired of worrying and making things
complicated. Tired of being paralyzed by
fear of the unknown, of rejection, of failure.
I’m tired of living to please men over God.
I’m ready to let go…surrender.
Ready to die and forget about myself.
Ready to get lost in Him.
Is it risky?
Yes.
Is it scary?
Yes.
Is it costly?
Yes.
But I won’t offer to God a sacrifice that costs me nothing…
I’ll offer Him everything.
My life.
Because in losing my life, I’ll find it, right?
Is it worth it?
Absolutely.
Because otherwise I’d miss LIFE.
Otherwise I’d miss HIM.
And He’s all I want.
“There can only be two basic loves; the
love of God unto the forgetfulness of self or the love of self unto the
forgetfulness of God.” (Augustine)
“May the vision of You be the death of me…”
(Shane & Shane)
“The art of losing myself in bringing You
praise…” (Hillsong)
