Have you ever questioned a decision you made? Wondered if you were where God wanted you in that moment or if you missed the perfect path somewhere along the way?
I was asking myself and the Lord those questions towards the end of my time (5 weeks) at Spanish school in Costa Rica…Just wondering if the decision to study was smart timing (since I leave for nearly a year in 7 days), smart financially (since I’ll be coming back to who knows what next December), smart relationally (since I hardly ever get to see the people I love), etc etc.
Then, during my last week, my eyes were opened to an entirely different purpose and greater plan than I had envisioned…
“The mind of man directs his way, but the LORD directs his steps.” (Prov. 16:9)
[These all tie together in the end, as all God-stories do, so hang in there! :)]
During my first week at school, I quickly learned that it wasn’t safe for me to be out after dark. It gets dark at 5. Bruuuuuutal! It didn’t take long for me to get stir crazy, so I decided to brave the darkness and walk to the closest business, desperate for interaction with people. And the closest business? The only place I could safely be outside of my home at night? … A fried chicken restaurant. Go figure. 🙂
[By the end of my 5 week stint in San Joaquin, I had consumed more fried chicken than I had in the 26 years prior. haha]
I became friends with the two guys that worked there, Carlos and Yeiner. Sometimes I’d go there with my Spanish/English flashcards intending to study and would end up using them to help Carlos improve his English instead. Lots of laughs…and lots of chicken. 🙂
Midway through my time in Costa Rica, my friend Eli came down from Nicaragua and we took a weekend trip to Monteverde to do a little exploring. Despite our most adventurous plans, we ended up spending our last morning in a little coffee shop for hours, warm and sheltered from the rain. At some point during this time, my mind began to wander back to a dream I’ve had for quite some time…one that I always push aside and try to forget about, feeling like it would be absolutely impossible for someone like me to achieve. But for whatever reason, this time I let myself daydream, and I did it out loud to my friend. I got soooo excited talking about it…from the ways God could use this dream and the impact it could have on furthering the Kingdom, to building style, location, staff and funding. For the first time I considered the fact that MAYBE God had placed that dream there Himself; and MAYBE reaching that dream had more to do with His strength than my weakness. For the first time I felt like it could actually be possible…through Him.
Each week at school there are new students…the Tuesday of week 4, during cooking class, I met a student named Jon, a wild Kansan cowboy who had just finished a tour in Iraq. Obviously, the common ground we found was the mutual dislike of I-70 through Kansas :), and the fact that we both worked on ranches. His was a working cattle ranch, mine was a Christian family dude ranch. We compared the two, class ended, and I didn’t run into him again until Thursday.
On this day I had decided to try out a new restaurant for lunch, and it just-so-happened that Jon was there as well. We strike up a conversation, and out of nowhere he asks me if I like to read. “Yeah…why do you ask?”
“This is random, but I have this book that my dad gave me, and I feel like it goes right along with you.”
[Um….we don’t know each other, so I’m a little confused by this statement…haha]
“Mmmk…what book is it? What’s it about?”
“It’s called the Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson. It’s basically about God giving each of us a dream and the ability to pursue and reach that dream through Him, for His glory. I dunno…it was a good, short read. Definitely one to pass on. I’ll bring it to you tomorrow.”
God usually speaks to me in themes…so obviously, here He goes again, doing what He does best! We’re clearly on the dream theme. 🙂
I begin to tell Jon that him mentioning that book isn’t random at all, in fact, it went right along with how God had been speaking to me!
And for the next 45 minutes, I found out I was talking with a prodigal son whose believing father was trying desperately to guide him back to the Lord…He had gone off to war, seen and done things that scared him, and had come home feeling lost and without purpose. If that’s not a divine appointment over another rice, beans and chicken meal, then I don’t know what is!
He brings me the book on Friday and I read the entire thing over the weekend.
Of course, it spoke directly to my heart and affirmed everything God had already been revealing to me.
Sunday night, I’m walking back from church (the only other place close enough to safely walk to) when I pass Carlos and Yeiner at the fried chicken place. I stop in to say hi for a “minute”, which quickly turned into a couple hours…of talking about the Lord!! 🙂 They saw my Bible and immediately began to ask questions…turns out Carlos is a strong believer!! We started talking about our beliefs and “coincidentally” everything God had been teaching him, specific lessons (about Spirit and Truth, the True church, the Body of Christ, etc.) He had been teaching me as well!! Wow. Also, the whole time we were talking, since I’d just read “The Dream Giver”, I wanted to remind them that God had a specific purpose for each of their lives, but the opportunity never presented itself. However, right before they had to close for the night, Carlos began to tell me about a dream he’d had when he was 14 (he’s now 28) that he’d pushed out of his mind. He started to write down what God had told him in this dream…the first line:
“I have a purpose for your life…”
🙂 Unbelievable…
Since it was quittin’ time, our conversation was rain-checked until Monday.
Lunchtime Monday I return, for more chicken and Jesus-talk. 🙂 First thing, Carlos tells me that he had been watching Joyce Meyer on tv that morning and, since she talks so fast, the only thing he understood was her saying “When God gives you a dream or a vision, keep it at the forefront of your mind…don’t forget it! He has a purpose for it!”
God was speaking to him in a dream theme as well! Therefore I decided to pass “The Dream Giver” onto him the next day…
Lunchtime Tuesday….more chicken. 🙂 I gave Carlos the book and we talked about the Lord some more. I decided I’d come back that night after he’d read a little bit of the book.
Dinnertime Tuesday….I start sprouting feathers and clucking. ;-P haha The moment I step inside the fried chicken place, Carlos says “It’s all your fault!”…and I’m like “Whoa….slow down killer….what’s all my fault?!” Then he says, “I read part of this book, and it made me cry…”
🙂
The first half of the book is a modern-day parable about a Nobody named Ordinary from the Land of Familiar. He has just realized he has a Big Dream given to him by the Dream Giver. He has packed his bags, left everything behind in the Land of Familiar, and has begun his journey to the Land of Promise. At this point in the story, however, he becomes discouraged and decides to turn back. The Dream Giver appears and asks “Ordinary, why did you turn around?” Ordinary replies “Because my Dream is much too big for a Nobody like me. It’s impossible. I can’t do it.”
“You’re right Ordinary. You can’t. But I can! I gave you your Big Dream because I have a Big Need to fill. Keep going! I will be with you every step of the way! Nothing is impossible with Me.”
Apparently, this is the exact conversation God and Carlos had had 6 years ago.
Wow.
Of course that would hit home!
We talked for a couple hours that night about God’s sovereignty, His design, His plans…
It’s funny.
I had been questioning whether or not I was where I needed to be.
Carlos had been questioning whether or not he was where he needed to be.
Whether we each ended up there as a result of our poor decisions, or because we were both walking in the perfect plan of God, only the Lord knows…
Regardless, God accomplished His purposes through us. Our faith in Him was strengthened. We were encouraged and challenged. We clearly saw God’s hand at work, and we clearly heard His voice speaking.
I don’t understand it all, in fact, I can’t even come close to comprehending His ways.
And that’s ok. 🙂
What I CAN do is worship Him for who He is…a loving, compassionate, all-knowing Father. I can thank Him for the gift of faith and for loving His children enough to be active in our lives. I can stand in awe of how big He is. I can rest in Him, because I trust Him…
And I can depend on HIM, the Dream Giver, to keep me on the right path…away from the Land of Familiar, towards the Land of Promise and my Big Dream.
