A peek into my week:
So it's Thursday evening at training camp in Toccoa Falls, Georgia, I'm in my tent before we head out to our next session which will be on listening prayer, I had no clue what that was, but most of what I experienced that week was unknown to me before I arrived. It was pouring rain outside, there was a spider and a few ants taking shelter between my rain fly and tent, I listened to Mariah Carey on my iPod as I sat there before God, trying to take in all that I had witnessed the past 5 days. I saw 300 plus people worshipping in their own unique way the One I love most, ( just watching it made my heart delight in Him and the beauty of His people), I witnessed people being physically healed right before my eyes ( yes healed!!!), others were set free from chains that had bound them for years, freed from the chains of sin, sexual immorality, pride, unhealthy relationships, others received freedom from the grief of divorces, abortions and molestation, and finally for many, if not all of us, we received the freedom to live for Jesus and Him alone.
As I tried to process all these things in my head I heard Mariah Carey singing in the background "who else am I going to lean on when times get tough? Who's going to take Your place? There ain't nobody better, we belong together" 🙂 I just smiled at God and it tickled me that I was hearing and seeing Him everywhere, even in a Mariah Carey song, so I joined her in singing, " there ain't nobody better, we belong together !!!" I headed off to the listening prayer session and nothing could have prepared me for what God was about to sing back to me through my squad leader Alexandra Squyres!!!
Some of you may have had an experience where you were around someone and you just felt like God was putting it on your heart to pray something particular for that person, or maybe you felt led to tell them something but you put it off, you put it off because you don't want to be the crazy I see visions and God speaks to me, bible thumping Christian? Well the listening prayer session taught us, more importantly it urged us, to share what God was speaking to us! In Jesus we have the power to speak LIFE into people, and the places and people we will encounter over the next 11 months need life spoken into them and over them!
We all filed into two lines so that we were standing in front of another person, it was random and in no particular order, I stood in front of Alexandra, and we were instructed to just listen to what God might be saying to us about the person in front of us. Maybe we would hear something, we might see an image, or maybe the Holy Spirit would remind us of a scripture; it could mean something to the other person or maybe it wouldn't , but we were going to just listen and speak either way.
I went first and I just prayed to God to help me through it, I was lost, so I simply told Alexandra about a scripture I just read and hoped that it encouraged her, she shook her head in agreement and then as if she couldn't contain herself for another second she started speaking to me! She told me that right when I stood in front of her, God spoke to her that I was His sweet thing! I was His sweet thing??? Yes, I was His sweet thing! I burst into tears and I remembered Hosea 2:14 "I will win her back once again, I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there". Here I was in a spiritual desert in my life and my God was speaking tenderly to me!!!! She then chuckled and said " I keep hearing a Mariah Carey song, "I'm shining down on you from heaven", does that mean anything to you?" I started to laugh and I told her that just before the session I was listening to Mariah Carey during my quiet time with God and simply enjoying the fact that I heard Him in random places including her songs, we both laughed and just before we switch partners she said one more thing, " Vanessa, God wants you to know He is not even keeled."
Whoa!!!! So first my God speaks to me in the way I speak to others, He speaks to me in my language, He says I'm His sweet thing!!!!! I have called many people my sweet thing, but I never thought I would be His!!! I needed to know that I was His, that He was still fighting for me, that He still wanted me! And here He was telling me in those most tender way, that He has always wanted me, He has won the fight, and I am His, forever!!! I had been praying to Him over and over to make me delight in Him more than anything else, and I can tell you that I have never been so consumed by the sweetness of His love as I was that day. The Mariah Carey song I would say is Him telling me He will speak to me however He chooses to, whether it be a donkey (Numbers 22:28), a burning bush (exodus 3:2) or a cheesy Mariah Carey song. I had also recently been praying for Him to always make me on fire and to keep me out of the valley, but He is not even keeled, at times I will hear nothing but His voice and at other times I may not here from Him for what seems like an eternity, but He is still with me!!! I just need to "be still and know that He is God!"( Psalm 46:10)
Training camp has made me ready, no not just ready, it has made me eager, eager to go out to the nations and share my God with those He longs to speak tenderly to! I am ready to give it all up for Jesus, I want to love Him as He has loved me! He is allowing me to give up expectations, leave the comforts of home behind and be separated from those dearest to me. What will He do with me and in me during this time, who will I encounter, what will I see??? I don't know the answers to those questions now but I will for sure use this blog as a tool to share those stories with you as they happen. This is what I do know right now, I have fallen hard for Jesus, I am unashamed of that, I am embracing Him and I can't wait to experience the adventure He has called me on. We belong together:)
