This has become the theme of my life, my desperate plea to my Father. My life is His, my heart is in His hands and I choose His will and His plan for my future.
I refuse to move without a word from God, I refuse to move any further if my Heavenly Father and intimate Lover will not be there with me. I am constantly reminded of that through songs and words, through letters and prayers.
My first month in Romania led me to a sermon entitled Desperate for His Presence and to a revelation that has continually stuck with me since that day. A revelation that continually finds me regardless of the country or the situation I may be in. I wrote about it that day, over a month ago, and to this day it still holds true in my life.
So if you will, turn with me to Exodus 33…
We find Moses as he is about to enter the tent of meeting to approach an angry God. His people have gotten caught up in idols and their old habit of serving other gods.
Over the past few months I have started to learn about the different aspects of God's heart, how man and woman were made in God's image and our hearts are so compatible and so completely different at the same time. A woman's heart longs to be fought for, to be romanced. I get so excited when I think about how God is pursuing me, how He wants to romance me and show me the love He has specifically made for me. But as I was listening to this sermon I heard this verse in a completely new light. One that truly helped affirm the heart of God in my own life, in my own heart.
Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.
Exodus 33:15
Moses doesn't want to go anywhere if God won't be there. Moses is desperate for God's presence in his life! I can't help but stop and wonder if God wasn't completely filled with love. I have to believe that God's heart also needs to be romanced, that He wants us to seek and pursue Him. That He is filled by us simply wanting a relationship with Him. That He is able to take the slightest ounce of desire He sees in us and just run with it. But here is a man who says
"No. I'm not going anywhere unless you come too. I can't do this without you and I don't want to. Your presence is all I need in my life and I know I can't survive without it."
As a feminine heart my soul just sings with joy! With amazement! God has watched His people choose idols over Him, continually put Him last on the list, refusing to trust and obey and be patient. Always wanting more, always expecting more from an Almighty who delivered them. They just turned their backs, stopped seeking, stopped caring. But Moses! Moses sees the end goal. Moses sees the true prize. He sees God for the incredible, powerful, loving, graceful Creator that He is and refuses a life that doesn't include Him in it.
How crazy. How beautiful. How so like our God. He aches to have us know Him, to seek Him, to talk to Him, to love Him. He'll do anything for us. He wants us with a full and passion heart and will pursue us with everything.
And when we do the same in return? I think He may just smile.
