Thailand was hard. It was not full of rest and there were many nights when I cried out for the amazing Presence of the Only One I will ever need. I felt anger and sadness, I laughed and cried, I was giddy and downright quiet. I was a flood of emotions and I had no idea what Papa was trying to speak to me.
Looking back I realize how much I learned in that beautiful place.
I love freedom. The type of freedom that only God and His grace can supply. The type of freedom that makes you realize how short this life is. The kind that makes you open your eyes to the truth of how worldly and fleshy expectations and desires and wants and “needs” aren’t really all that important. The truth that one day I will be in heaven. I get to go to heaven people! I get to stand before my God and my Savior and be with Him at all times! That is where my life is. Not this place. My life is in eternity with the One who created my heart and then stole it right back. For now I get to live on this earth and bring His Kingdom, I get to witness heaven here on earth. How blessed am I? I get to dance and sing and pray with freedom! A freedom that casts out fear and doubt and insecurities. A freedom that once you taste it, you can’t get enough. A freedom that illustrates God’s love and the sacrifice of Jesus.
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” – Galatians 5:1
Last month I was blessed to grow in my love and passion for worship. Daddy has been walking me through and into so much over the course of the Race and I am finally ready and eager to stand in it. Worship is not something I ever thought would consume me in such a way that it has but I know that His plans are so much greater than mine. So today I stand, at times a little wobbly, in love with singing and worshiping and loving my God. I truly believe that He writes a song on all of our hearts and it's a joy to hear Him sing it over me.
"that my heart may sing to you and not be silent." – Psalm 30:12
We have been in Cambodia for a few days now, debriefing the past few months and preparing for the last leg of this trip. Tomorrow I head out with a new team to an unknown ministry site where I have no idea what I will be doing. I have never been so excited! Life with no expectations is the most freeing life I could ever imagine and the Race is pretty good at allowing that to happen.
I have less than three months left. I’m praying that they consist of the most laughs, the most tears, the most sweat and blood, the most songs and worship, the most blogs and heartfelt writing, the most divine encounters and experiences, the best ministry, more Bible time, deeper unity and more community, challenging and inspiring feedback, more and more of the Spirit and a love and obsession for Jesus that completely rocks my world – even more than it has.
So until I step back into the states, keep dancing with Jesus. It’s the only way to live.
