With $20 in my bank account, a stack of student loan problems, and less than $10,000 in my World Race account, I come to you discouraged.
“The Lord is faithful… the Lord is near”
Psalm 145
This is what I keep telling myself, this is what I hear, this is my heart beat. Now, I am not telling you this because I need your sorrow, or even your cash. I am being vulnerable, in a place where I choose not to hide or supplement my fears and anxieties with the medicines of this world. I know God will provide, but how? That is my question.
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As I have so many times before, I am crawling to my Abba, feeling hopeless, alone, broken, and embarrassed at my core. Everyone has gone, the light is very dim and my breath is short from holding back my tears. I thought I was strong. I thought I could do it alone. I thought I was seeking you, yet, I was seeking myself. I looked to others for approval and comfort, and all they gave me were scraps.
But you. Oh God. My God. You give me life. You give me breath. You give me bread and wine. You give me hope of a future that is greater and brighter. You give me love.
You give me eternity
You lift my weary head and say “Daughter, you are my Beloved. You are home.”
I am safe. I am loved. I am accepted. Beyond my greatest fears, and doubts, I am home.
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Thank you for reading this. It is my hearts cry today. I am trying my hardest to trust God in every second of these FINAL 7 DAYS before I leave. It is harder than it has ever been. Please pray with me.
XOXO
