As soon as I woke up on our first morning in Swaziland, I felt it.
The whole property at El Shaddai had this weird feeling. There was this spirit of negativity, of comparison, of selfishness. It just pervaded the property, and thus the squad. The first two weeks were marked by frustrations, miscommunications, comparison, complaining, and exhaustion. It even started to severely affect my "food team." At the end of the first two weeks, the four of us sat down with the squad leaders and it all came out.
I struggled with being too controlling about making lists and maintaining the kitchen. Someone else struggled with not feeling heard and not feeling like she was gifted in the ways we needed. Someone else struggled with feeling like the kitchen duties pulled her away from other ministry and the squad, and she felt isolated. And the fourth struggled with feeling like the joy of cooking had been snatched away. We discussed how there was a definite spirit of negativity infusing our kitchen, and we made apologies, struck compromises, and encouraged each other.
Then one of the squad leaders spoke up and pointed out that there were definitely things going on in the spiritual realm that corresponded with the physical realm. We fed the women of the squad and provided food for their physical bodies. What if we committed to being tools in feeding their spiritual selves as well? What if we prayed over each person that came into the kitchen? Or prayed over the food? Or committed to not gossiping or making negative comments while cooking? What would happen then? She encouraged us that we, as bearers of Christ, have the power to shift the atmosphere and the spirit of the place. Immediately, I felt excited and empowered. Of course I have the power to change things! Anyone who has the Holy Spirit inside of them has the power to affect change around them.
We began the process by praying over the kitchen and our kitchen staff. And for the rest of our time at El Shaddai, I prayed. I prayed over the food I prepared, that it would nourish and encourage the women who ate it. I prayed as I hugged people. I prayed as I washed dishes. I prayed as I looked around and gave thanks for the women I am so blessed to walk alongside in this season. And you know what? The spiritual atmosphere did change. But most of all, I experienced change inside of me. I realized that people are always going to be frustrating. They're always going to fail me. But I have a choice: feed into my pride and frustration, or feed those around me with the fruit of the Spirit I have. To feed into negativity, gossip, and feeling like I need to control every detail, or feed those around me with the joy and peace that I carry with me because of Christ. Seems like a pretty simple menu choice to me.
