My heart leapt into my throat.
The wind whipped through my hair (it's now long enough to do that!), the sand stung my face, and the fresh salt air hit my lungs as the beautiful white Arabian mare sprung into a full gallop. She lengthened her stride as we nearly flew over the beach. I hung on for dear life, the reins now useless as I gave the horse her head to navigate her way across the sand. All I could do was laugh with tears in my eyes, as the twin emotions of elation and terror raced through me.
Such is my life these days, working on a horse farm here in Jeffreys Bay, South Africa. I do plenty of scooping poop, but I also get the chance to go on beach outrides with clients, which usually include a gallop on the beach on the way back to the farm. I've ridden that Arabian mare several times since then, but that first gallop is an experience I'll never forget. The absolute joy as I felt the powerful muscles of this magnificent animal move under my legs. The images that flashed through my mind of falling off to roll, undignified, in the sand as the horse continued her run. The awe that God planned for me to work here, of all places, for Month 11. All I could do during that race across the sand was say, "Jesus!" over and over again as I simultaneously wanted to throw my arms into the air in a Black Stallion moment and also pull the horse back down to a more manageable gait.
Sometimes I feel that my walk with the Lord is a little like that barely-controlled gallop I experienced. I've galloped on other horses, and I always feel way more in control of myself and the horse. But on that particular ride, I was not in control. It was terrifying and exciting all at once. And a lot of times, when I die to myself and my selfishness, and let God have His way with my life, it feels like that. I am not in control. It's terrifying. But it's also incredibly exciting. I trusted that horse to guide us safely across the beach, putting faith in her every footfall. Similarly, I trust God to guide me every step in my life. It's definitely not always easy, but it's so worth it. Sometimes there are moments when my heart is in my throat, sometimes I feel like I'm going to fall, and sometimes it's just plain exhilarating. But if I can trust a horse to give me a ride across a beach, how much more can I trust the Lord and Savior of my life? After all, an Arabian mare is not bred to drudge across the beach; she's meant to run so fast it looks like she's flying. And I'm not meant to plod through my life safely; I was born to gallop.
