Tyler Goeglein of 2015 Q Squad spent an off day in Lithuania sightseeing – as a blind man. After a few hours of depending on his teammates for everything, God asked him a life-changing question.
I sat on the edge of my bed feeling completely alone.
My teammates were asleep and the room was dark – not because it was night, but because I kept my eyes shut. This is the day I would be blind.
I didn’t decide to do this on a whim. Choosing a disability for an entire day in Lithuania wasn’t on my bucket list for the Race. Besides the personal inconvenience and the emotional (and mental) impact of choosing weakness, it also would be inconvenient for my teammates.
It might sound crazy, but this is something I felt God wanted me to do for awhile.
I currently have a teammate whose mother is blind, in addition to family members of my own. It’s possible that I might lose my sight as well one day due to the same gene that caused their blindness..
Lately, God has been talking with me about things I take for granted – like my sight.
So I wanted to spend a day practically living by faith in the scariest way I knew how – completely in the dark, having to rely on others in a more physical way than ever before.
Slowly, I stood and walked with my hands out in front of me, feeling for the nearby dresser. It felt like a mile away. When my fingers touched the smooth surface, I fumbled clumsily for my toothbrush and toothpaste, then walked slowly to the bathroom. Every task took more time and care to complete than I was used to. How was I going to do this for an entire day?
At breakfast, my teammates asked what I wanted to do for our off day. Truthfully, I wanted to stay in a familiar place, somewhere I could see in my mind as I navigated it with my eyes closed. Instead, we decided to go to the mall.
Over the next few hours, with the help of my teammates, I rode a public bus, crossed four lanes of traffic, navigated a mall, and went paddle boating – all without sight.
Over the Race I’ve learned that I don’t know how to accept love, I don’t like receiving help from others, and I don’t ever want to feel like a burden to others – all of which I was forced to do that day. I wouldn’t have made it ten feet outside my front door without their help.
Choosing to lose control was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
It was frustrating to not see the same things as my teammates. I heard voices, but couldn’t see faces. I felt the sun and the wind, but couldn’t see the water. I kept having to remind myself to choose joy, even in my hard time.
Then, God asked me a scary question: “Tyler, would you still love me if I took your sight?”
Heart sinking, I didn’t have an answer.
Days later, I’m still thinking about it. Though my initial response is, “Yes, absolutely!”, how would I live that out? Would I be easy frustrated? Do I only love God because of what he does for me, when life is good or easy, and not for who he is? Do I love him even on hard days?
I want to serve the Lord no matter what. I want to rely on him and only him. That day in Lithuania, I had to depend on him for everything. I couldn’t rely on my skills, my outer appearance, or even being in a familiar setting.
I had to be – and need to be – fully content in the Lord, no matter what might happen.
On the World Race, I have to constantly choose joy. I have to constantly choose to serve the Lord everyday, and I have to choose to dive into my quiet time in the morning. I love how God gives us the choice to serve him, that he asked if I would love him even if everything wasn’t perfect.
The God of the universe wanted to know if I would love him no matter what.
Living a day as a blind man taught me that I have to choose joy. It gave me a tangible picture of what it means to rely on God. But most of all, it reminded me that even beyond my service, time, and my skills, God wants my heart.
What if God asked you the same question? What does it mean to love God no matter what – in the checkout line of the grocery store, in traffic, and even on Sunday mornings?
Is God calling you deeper into a relationship with him? Click here to find out more how you could go on the World Race in 2016.
