This month we’re celebrating parents, friends, family, and supporters of World Racers because we realize that the World Race — and life in general — isn’t a solo act. We need each other to get through it, and we need you in order to do the Race.
Ashlee Castle, of the September 2012 J Squad, asked her best friend Charlee to write some advice for other best friends and close family of World Racers, and we think it’s something you’d enjoy too.
So your very best friend wants to do this World Race thing?
What’s it all about? What should you expect? How can you prepare? Why are they doing this? What will they be doing? What will you do?
I can’t answer the myriad of questions that will surface in your mind, but I can share a little bit about the journey Ashlee and I have embraced over the past year since she decided to take part in the World Race.
When I sent Ashlee the link to learn more about World Race, I knew she needed something to sink her teeth into. What I didn’t know was that I was signing up for the Race, too. During this journey, we’ve enjoyed inside jokes from thousands of miles away, traded travel tips, cried, challenged one another, made one another so mad we couldn’t speak, made each other’s day, grown apart, and grown back together with our bond that cannot be broken.
Be part of the prep
Ever tried to raise thousands of dollars? It’s fun, hard, tiring, self-defining, riddled with smiles and less than smiles, etc. It’s also much better when done with the full support of your close circle.
Ever tried to pack everything you’ll need for a year into a pack? Not a piece of cake. Make lists, make suggestions, make them a friendship bracelet.
Ever tried to say goodbye to family and friends and then embark on a year-long journey? Again, not an easy task. Be as available and present as possible. It might seem obvious, but when you are faced with losing your best friend for a year, it is really easy to close down and try to “protect” yourself from the loss you’re about to endure.
Ever tried to embark on a “find yourself” kind of expedition? You’re changing, your surroundings are definitely changing, your priorities are morphing, and some days you don’t know which end is up. This is when you really need your people.
This ain’t gonna be all rainbows and butterflies.
It’s really hard to leave America behind. Really. We’ve got this awesome life thing down. And leaving all of that behind is not a walk in the park. Understand that your friend is going to have an adjustment period — 11 of them to be exact.
Embrace them. Each country will present its own joys and discomforts. Ants are going to chew through everything your friend owns. They might get mugged on a subway and lose their phone, passport, photo of you, laminated lucky four leaf clover, or autographed Miley Cyrus tank top. They might battle intestinal misfortunes you cannot fathom. They will very likely have a complete and utter meltdown at some point. Listen. Lighten the mood. Love.
Help them stay on track.
When living abroad, it is easy to get tunnel vision and lose sight of your original purpose. You know your friend better than anyone else — be honest with them and help them keep sight of their goals. Talk with them about what their goals for the Race are, understand that they’ll probably change course, but work to help them keep sight of the prize and continue working forward. When they are having tough months, or just tough days, being reminded of why they set out on this Race will no doubt help them to keep advancing.
Have fun, too! Live vicariously and keep them humble.
It’s kind of like the Olympics — one man is running the race but the whole country is behind them benefitting. Don’t forget that you can get a lot out of this nifty little Race, too. Send them off with a Flat Stanley or something similar. Make them a global scavenger hunt. You’re going to miss your bestie (A LOT!), so do what you can to keep sane and conjure up happy, crazy, zany shenanigans from your past and work to make memories with them this year.
A difficult part of this process is that it’s easy when you are the one away from your “life” to get a bit self-centered. Don’t be afraid to point this out with your bestie. I’ve heard this complaint of several friends of various Racers. It might happen to you, too. Don’t let it sidetrack your friendship. Name it, learn from it, and move on.
And for those of you who prefer short and sweet lists, here’s one:
10 Tips to Help your World Racer on their Journey
10. Don’t let them spend too much time on Skype/email/Facebook. Maintain contact but remind them that they’ve gone abroad for a reason! Talk openly about homesickness. It’s real. It shouldn’t be ignored. Be active about helping your Racer move past it so they can run their Race with endurance.
9. Realize in advance that they are likely to have some intense and varied medical situations crop up. These are very unlikely to be life threatening, but your Racer may need your support, your Google skills, and possibly even for you to call a pharmacist or doctor friend to get some advice. Don’t. Freak. Out. Humans are tough — our bodies can, in fact, handle infections in Africa just like they do in America. Sprained ankles will heal south of the Equator, too. That said, if your Racer is particularly stubborn, sometimes you have to say, “Get yourself to the medical center, NOW!”
8. Find a way to maintain something “usual” about your friendship. Ash and I love sharing Katt Williams quotes. It’s our thing.
7. Push your friend outside their comfort zone. You will very likely notice if they seem to be in a rut, so help push them out and onward! Make them tell you stories — it will aid them in processing all they are journeying through. Encourage them to do things they’re scared of. Heck, make yourself do the same this year!
6. Talk to them about their goals before, during, and after the Race.
5. Be prepared to take care of a few little administrative things for them. Her credit card might expire while on the Race. That means any and every thing she had auto-drafted is going to require re-entry of card numbers/expiration dates. Subscriptions might lapse. Help your friend out.
4. If you notice your friend is having trouble with something, find ways to support them. Language barriers bothering them? Send them a 100 words to know in the local language. Homesickness gettin’ ‘em down? Email him a funny video of you trying to lick your elbow. This year it really is about the little things. Small gestures go far.
3. Carry on with your friendship. Continue to build it, challenge it, and grow it. It is not going to remain static for a year and then pick up where it left off. You will be different. Your Racer will be different. Understand and appreciate this so that you don’t wake up in 11 months and wonder how things changed overnight.
2. Prepare for the various stages of the Race and understand that you too will be going through some serious transitions. Read up on culture shock and reverse culture shock. Help your Racer through these stages. Encourage their growth. Be their biggest champion.
1. Love your Racer. Laugh with them. Surprise them. Cry with them. Tease them. Hurt with them. Skype with them. Challenge them. Amuse them. Listen to them. BE with them. Even when you’re not.
Your friendship doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s — maybe all the advice you receive about this Race will be useless, maybe it’ll all ring true, but at the end of the day, you know your bestie, and your gut is probably the best thing to follow. Just resist the temptation to be too selfish and beg them to come back (or not to go in the first place). Once their Race is over, you’ll have a lifetime to enjoy the cool new/old person that is your best friend.
Photos via kevinggg, darcienich, jolenebell, pattylynnreed, kari_c323, lindyhickman, clayholst, taylerloren, sara_katherine, brittanylatray, samccomb, cline1687, xlr231, jonathanlancegarner, karlasolis33, lkelsey_girl, emmabru, dudders828, colbygardner, and slbretz
