Savannah Rucker of 2015 O Squad thought being a missionary meant denying her dreams and dying to her heart’s desires. But while riding through the Honduran mountains, she discovered God gave her those dreams and abilities for a reason.
If you asked me a year what a missionary was, my reply would have been: “Someone who sacrifices a comfortable life to go overseas and reach the unreached.” So naturally, when I felt called to missions, my first thought was, “I need to leave the country.”
I’m now in month 5 of the Race, but I am just beginning to learn what a missionary truly is.
Up until this month, I held the belief that in order to serve God, I needed to abandon myself. “Dying to self” meant to me that I had to squash my passions, desires, and goals to pursue a life where while I wasn’t necessarily miserable, my own selfishness couldn’t get in the way.
This, to me, meant not doing the things I most desired to do.
For my entire life, I’ve loved horses. I started riding when I was 10, got my first horse when I was 13, and I’ve always had the desire to be involved in the equine industry in some way. Then I found Jesus and the World Race.
While my idea of what I wanted didn’t change, but my idea of what I needed to want did.
Last year, I learned about Equine Assisted Therapy, which is using horses to facilitate therapy for people with learning and physical disabilities as well as a history of abuse. I absolutely fell head over heels in love with this idea and the desire grew within me to pursue this as a ministry. But for some reason I didn’t think it added up being something God wanted for me simply because I was passionate about it . . . and because I was passionate about it, that made me selfish, which made it something God didn’t want me to do.
So I put that idea in the aside and went on trying to figure out where God wanted me long term.
Last month, my friend Nikki and I were driving back from a church service in Honduras. The scenery was beautiful: mountains everywhere, a full moon, and horses grazing here and there among the cows. Nikki turns to me and looks sort of hesitant, then says: “God told me to say this, and I wasn’t going to, but I told him if I saw another horse I would ask . . . and of course I saw another horse, so . . . have you ever thought about getting a bunch of land in a place like this (mountains) and having horses and using them to help emotionally abused children?”
I began to laugh in disbelief. I hadn’t told anyone about what I had looked into last year, but I proceeded to tell her about it and why I tried to forget about it.
Then Nikki told me that God gave each and every one of us passions, desires, and abilities that only each one of us individually can use for His purpose.
I had a paradigm shift: my passions were no longer something selfish, but were something God placed there specifically so I would use them for his kingdom and his ministry. Still, I continued to wrestle with what I’d convinced myself of (that God was calling me overseas instead). Then I him say: “If you decide to do this, I will bless you in it, but it’s not my highest for you.”
And then he reminded me: “The United States is a nation too.”
Obviously, I knew that, but it’s not ever something I really considered in regards to the Great Commission. I thought I had to go somewhere else. Before, I’d felt guilty for any of my desires or passions that could keep me in the States and for living in any sort of comfort.
But now, God is showing me that I can pursue his kingdom wherever I am. Ministry is wherever I am. And He gave me these passions for a reason, so that I would use them for His glory.
Then, my squad leader, Ryan, said to me: “Find what makes you come fully alive, and do that for the rest of your life. Because what the world needs most is people who are fully alive.” And that I will come into the full potential of what He has for me when I connect my passions with his Kingdom.
This doesn’t just go for me either. Are you doing what makes you come fully alive? Are you partnering your passions with God’s glory?
So many times we we abandon them because we don’t think they are achievable. “I don’t have enough money.” “I don’t have any experience.” “I don’t have the right connections.” “I don’t have the proper schooling.” So instead of pursuing our dreams, we just talk about them like they are far off realities that will remain out of reach. We settle for things that we may not be passionate about, but provide us ‘security’.
I want to tell you that God has something for you, instilled deep within your heart. You probably know exactly what that passion is. You can do anything if you believe you can achieve it . . . So go out there and become fully alive.
Do you feel called to step out and use your skills, talents, or desires in ministry in a new way? Discover how God can your unique gifts and skills in 11 countries in 11 months.
